Why haven't I told anyone I have a DP?

[Watchthing]

Im a widow. DH died 5 years ago and colleagues/aquaintances know that.

I've been seeing a man for a year. We do most things together, I spend all my weekends with him, go on holiday together.

But when I talk about my life outside of work with colleagues, I always refer to "my friend" and probably let them believe he's multiple people.

Obviously my good friends know about him but no one at work.

Worried about being judged?

At the very least, you perhaps wish to avoid the conversations that are likely to result regarding your feelings & your grief.

Are you feeling guilty that you are dating again? because you really have no reason to. Your new dp doesn’t replace your husband or what you had together.

I don't think this is unusual, OP. I know I certainly felt like it when I began dating my now partner 2 years after my exH left.

I have a very good friend who is currently in the same position. Her and her new partner told me recently they are waiting for a few more months before 'launching' themselves as a couple!

It's okay. Just all in your own good time, I say.

If your work colleagues were true friends then you probably would have told them. Your close friends know. Your colleagues don't need to know. I think you may have created boundaries around yourself as you don't want inquisitions or questions about your DP from colleagues. It could be that subconsciously you feel they have a right to judge you on having a new relationship (which they don't, by the way) or perhaps you just want to keep him to yourself and be private. Nothing wrong with that OP.

I agree with previous posters OP.
You've told your closest friends and that is only right as you want to share your happiness and a bit of your life, with them.
There's absolutely no reason to let your colleagues at work know your private situation, as this is your personal time and there is no need to share it with those you work with.
People share too much of their private lives these days with those who don't need to know.

Op entirely up to you what you share.
But most people will be happy for you. He won't replace your DH but its lovely you have someone special to share your life with.

I’m a very private person and only one person at work knows that I have a boyfriend (she’s my friend outside work). I work in a male-dominated industry and I’m on a work visa. I don’t need anyone knowing that I could be contemplating starting a family (and thus taking time out of work) or that I have another avenue to remain in the country (i.e. through marriage). I don’t want to be an obvious choice in any potential lay-offs.

What are you worried about? Do you tell your colleagues other personal things?