I'm worried I've got a favourite....

[AnnaQuayInTheUk]

We have two sons, both adults (in their 20s).
DS1 lives about 90 minutes away, DS2 moved to uni 2 hours away a few years ago, then after they left, he and his GF moved to a city about 5 hours away from us where they've been for the last 2 years.

I would have said I love my sons equally. I see DS1 far more often because of proximity, but I wouldn't have said that makes a difference.

DS1 is now talking about moving to a city about 4 hours drive from us and the idea is making me feel physically sick. I was fine with DS2 moving away but this feels very different. It's made me realise that I'm much more attached to DS1 than to DS2 which has really surprised me

Is this the case for anyone else? I'm feeling very guilty.

It's normal to have different connections with different children. It doesn't mean you love one more than the other. Did you get on with your own parents differently? Did your siblings?

Is it not just because now they'll both be far away?

If DS1 had gone first and then DS2 announced he was also moving far away would you not have felt the same? Maybe it's next level empty nest syndrome.

Being closer to one child is not “having a favourite”

or at least…. It shouldn’t

Thanks, that's possible.