Still find saying goodbye to dd at uni v hard and it’s her 2nd year….

[Movingon2024]

she’s in year 2, flying, socially settled & in a great house with nice friends.
i am single parent but have a busy professional and social life and younger child still at home.

I live in a different country to her, but just a 2 hour flight, and we meet up every 4-5 weeks.

Still cry after I leave her, and it’s not getting easier. I love her so, and know she adores me. Does anyone know when/if it gets better?

(I don’t show it btw, take care to be bright and breezy on goodbyes).

You need to know that she is safe and well and caring for herself. You know she’s ok. Perhaps you need another focus on life.

Thank you.
i know she is safe and well…it’s just that I hate us being apart. I had expected it to get easier by now , the 2nd year.

i guess I’m asking if it does get easier? When do you start to adjust? Or is it always like this. As the parent of an adult child?

I think it's perfectly natural. I found it got better each year (now last year) but I still feel emotional and a little depressed. I too hide it. I think it must be harder with the international element.

I know it's life and it's good that they are spreading their wings and living their lives but it can still hurt. I find ensuring my social life is active helps. I often don't want to go out but I force myself.

I actually found it harder when my youngest went back for second year this year than I did in his first year or any year with my other DC. I have no idea why. He's happy, very busy with lots of friends and hobbies, doing really well on his course, got a great flatmate and really nice accommodation - there is absolutely nothing to worry about! But emotions aren't always logical. I suppose it is something to do with him being my youngest and definitely not a child anymore. And second year lacks that buzz of excitement and newness that comes with first year. I think he seems much more grown up all of a sudden - sat behind a society desk at the Freshers' Fair and welcoming the new arrivals rather than being one of them. I mean I do think it's great and it's what I always wanted for him - I wouldn't want to change a thing. But I still feel sad. You can miss your DD whilst simultaneously being happy for her OP.
You do get used to it. My eldest is much older and lives a long way away now. I still miss her - I think it would be sad if I didn't - but I have become accustomed to things. Growing up to live a happy independent life is after all what we all want for our children but we are allowed to miss them and look back with fondness on the past.

Thanks all. That does help.
just to know others experience the same helps.
i’d love to think that at some point I will wave her off with genuine happiness for her rather than hiding pain.