DH asks to go on a bike ride during Colonoscopy prep

[NowABikeRide]

Have a colonoscopy later. Haven’t eaten for 2 days. Waiting to do the enema. Holding the baby asleep and DH asks if it’s ok to go for a bike ride. When I’m sat there worried how quickly I can put the baby down to get to the toilet whilst giving him a shout.
I said no, or maybe my face did, and then he said he wouldn’t go. Then we did our usual thing of even though I didn’t want him to go I pleaded with him to go FFS.
mall I asked was that I didn’t feed the baby so I didn’t accidentally eat their food, and you know. Hungry.
He has started when I have a hospital appointment or somewhere to be decided to go on the shower when I’ve said I need to, an hour before we leave leaving me rushing in the last 15mins.
Was his request reasonable? As he asked not told me? I don’t think he’s coping in general. Always says he’s going to the toilet and disappears for 45mins. Would be easy to just say “I need a break”.
Hasn’t once asked me how I or if he can do anything to help. Just seemingly not happy that feeding the baby is my job (BLW) and I asked him to do it. But I’m probably projecting. Just don’t feel loved.

Some of what you’ve written is confusing! I don’t really understand the bit about showers and feeding the baby.
Why did you beg him to go on the bike ride? You needed him at home and agreed to stay.
It sounds like he might be being a little crap and thoughtless BUT you also sound like you’re being a bit passive and a bit of a martyr. Tell him what you need and stick up for yourself. If you want a shower then get in it!

You are painting yourself as a dreadful martyr.

Was that your intention?

Why haven't you eaten for 2 days? When I did my colonoscopy prep I could eat but a very plain diet like bread, spuds, eggs, crackers, cereal etc... Then once the bowel emptying started it was bad for about an hour but eased off after that.

Does your husband not work? Because most parents home with a baby on a Monday wouldn’t have another adult available and would just get on with it.

Agree with this.
Put the baby down.
If DH has offered to stay don't beg him to go out!

It's very concerning that you haven't eaten for two days. That is not part of the preparation for a colonoscopy. And likely your lack of sustenance is colouring your whole perspective - and to be honest it shows in your post, because there are bits that simply don't make sense. I hope your procedure goes well, but please take care of your physical wellbeing.

My friend recently had to go for a colonoscopy & wasn't allowed to eat for 2 days either! I was shocked as this seems such a long time but it was definitely 48hrs she had to fast for.

Well he’s making the hospital appointment all about him isn’t he. Adding pressure. Wanker

Why are you being a martyr?

Tell him what you need, so that he knows,

Oh right, I only had my procedure couple of years ago unless it's changed or different hossy's have different rules. I think I did have to fast for some of the time before taking the Moviprep and after but it deffo wasn't 48 hours.

I think it depends how high up the bowel they need to look. The higher up, the emptier you need to be.

He sounds very thoughtless and selfish. However, when he asked for the bike ride why did you not tell him no as you need him to be there to look after baby while you are in the bathroom. There was no need to beg him to go on the bike ride.

Why did you beg him to go on the bike ride when you didn't want him to?

I've always had to fast for two days before colonoscopies (of which I have had many) and it's always been at least 12-14 hours of non-stop frantic toilet trips. I barely slept at all last time because I was running to the loo all night, and the time before I spent the night lying on the floor outside the bathroom door. I would have been in absolutely no state to look after a baby in the run-up to any of them.

I’ve just had a colonoscopy yesterday and there’s no way I could’ve looked after a baby whilst the prep took effect. Think running to the loo every 5 mins for an hour, then eased to every 30 mins eventually. He needs to stay in and look after the baby full stop.

No he can’t go out as you can’t care for a baby whilst constantly running back and forwards to the bathroom.
Once the dust has settled you need a bigger conversation about him being fully involved with his child. It shouldn’t be out of the ordinary for him to provide a meal.

I know what you mean OP, because it’s not that you didn’t want to say no, you didn’t even want him to have asked in the first place, you wanted him to have realised he should stay in situ to support. Try to work on being direct (but not aggressive) in your responses rather than letting your face do the talking and end up trying to convince him to do the very thing you don’t want him to.
eg
Him: “Well, the baby is sleeping now, alright if I nip out for a bike ride?”
You: “To be honest I’d rather you didn’t just at the moment as I’m about to take the colonoscopy prep and don’t know how it’s going to affect me, I could do with some help with the kids’ food and looking after the baby if I need to dash to the loo or feel unwell”
Him: (hopefully): “Oh yes, of course, no problem, I’ll go for that ride another day”.

What pp said except he is not helping you, he is caring for his child.

Well I’ve been told 😂