5yo (Year 1) not wanting to read at home anymore - help please!

[anothermondayyy]

My DS is five summer born and just started Year 1. He has always enjoyed looking at books with me and his dad from being a baby - lockdown meant we spent a lot of time reading books at home. Reading is part of our bedtime routine - two books every night - and he has an extensive home library which he enjoys looking at, e.g. kids encyclopaedias, Science and nature books etc.

In Reception he enjoyed getting to grips with phonics and practising reading at home letter by letter. Then over the summer we had a break from school and the regularity stopped. He is a very active child so most of our summer holidays were spent outside. Since returning to school, he just seems to have lost the love for it. The new head of year has asked that we do 20 to 30 minutes every day at home and he has a number of books that he has the option of reading but he simply doesn’t want to do it.

I have been really careful not to pester or nag as I don’t want it to create a negative association, so I’ve not said you must do this, and I’ve tried to avoid it sounding in any way like a chore. I’ve tried to tie it in with cuddle time in the morning in mummy and daddy‘s bed or with a yummy snack after school but he is just not interested and he’s very stubborn when he wants to be. He has said “I will never read at home”!

His dad and I work and he attends after school club so the hours during the week in which we can read are quite limited. At bedtime he is very tired and gets easily frustrated, and I found through experience in reception that bedtime is not a good time to try and practice his reading. It works better me reading stories to him at that time of day.

This weekend we also didn’t manage to get him to read anything. I have not asked him today because I don’t want to make this into a big deal and put him off for good but I’m wondering how I can get the enjoyment back and make him want to do it. He was really chuffed with his progress in reception and enjoyed showing his reading to me but that seems to have gone. I know he’s not as advanced to some readers in the class, but I don’t think he’s too far behind the pack either (yet).

What can we do to support this? I’m a big reader. I have lots of books and I am trying to model reading when I’m at home, what else can I do? If you can relate please help!!!

This is a serious suggestion.
Have you taken him to a comic book shop? Or to the graphic books in the children’s section of the library?

For many of my generation, a love for reading started with reading Tintin or Asterix and Obelix. Today, children are spoiled for choice as there are many excellent comic style books out there.

If he gets to chose what he reads, then it won’t seem like homework. I too had a child that refused to pick any book on the school list. Turns out they were autistic.

I think I would carry on by reading to him rather than making reading by himself the focus (in spite of what school says...). Work on inculcating a love of stories or poems, and the wish to read by himself may come in time.

Audiobooks and a timer to listen to at bedtime are good.

Depending on the child, a tale of how you used to read under the covers but that's forbidden of course, and a book and torch left lying around can work wonders!

The new head of year has asked that we do 20 to 30 minutes every day at home

That feels ike a lot. Is it meant to include the time spent with you reading a book and him listening e.g. at bedtime? DC2 is yr1 and teacher said around 15 minutes a day of which 5 should be them practising reading.

We've been using screen time tokens - DC 'earns' some screen time by reading his school reading book. Obviously it's not fostering a love of reading for its own sake, but it's massively improved his willingness to do it. I'm hoping once he can read more fluently, he will find reading more pleasurable, and for that to happen he needs to practise the basics.

OP I think you are absolutely right not to push it. The start of year 1 is a really tiring time, just keep things chilled for a while. Keep reading to him, keep suggesting he reads to you but act as if you don't really care whether he says yes or no. Have you tried suggesting you read alternate pages?

20-30 mins is a lot. I’d simply ignore that request. My DD is in year 2 and loves to read, but we never read for 20 mins when she was in year 1 and very much still in the learning sounds/practicing phonics stage. She was far too tired after school.

Do you have any time in the morning, maybe when he isn’t as tired?

Are there any TV shows he really likes? You can get reading books of different levels for most popular tv shows. We had quite a good one (fireman sam I think) that was designed to be read together - the left hand side of each double page was for the child (easy words, not too many) and then the right hand side was for the parent and had more words and moved the story on a bit.

I think you do need to make it clear that reading at home isn't optional.

He can have a choice about how and where he does it but it needs to be done.

Reading is hard at the start and those phonics books aren't massively fun to read but sometimes you have to do things that are hard and boring.

I would start saying that reading needs to be done before TV/ playtime/ whatever he enjoys doing after school- even if it's not the full 20 minutes and he only manages 10.

20-30 minutes a night is a lot for that age. I think the school are asking too much and are a bit out of touch with how most modern families live because the only way you’ll get 30 minutes out of 5YO is if they have a SAHP picking them up at 3pm. It’s just not going to happen if you both work, don’t pick up from ASC until 6, then need to sort dinner, put a younger sibling to bed etc. etc.

I’d try graphic novels e.g. Dog Man because they’re usually really good for reluctant readers- my kids love them. Do 5 minutes as soon as you get in, to get it out of the way, and that can be how he earns his TV time. Oh and stick the subtitles on the TV- such an easy thing to do and he’ll be reading without evening realising he’s reading.

Could you ask him to tell a story to you and you make a little book, he can colour the front of it, edit it and put in a few extra words

If it's his own 'masterpiece' he may be inclined to read it to you

We always had more success practicing reading before school rather than after it.

Thanks for the suggestions of graphic novels. This is something I’ve thought about before but reading these suggestions has made me look into this again. He did enjoy Dogman at the cinema and likes Asterix and things like that so I’m definitely going to research comics / graphic novels suited to this age!

@pippistrelleabsolutely fantastic suggestion of the story of torch under the covers! He would definitely engage with this idea! Though I might switch it to me reading in the morning when I first woke up, so that he doesn’t try and stay awake all night!

Interesting most seem to agree on taking away the pressure. In my gut I do feel that’s the right approach. I feel if I say he absolutely must, it’s non-negotiable etc it will just kill his previous love of books and I can’t risk that.

I think I’m going to reframe my thinking into fostering a love of “books” rather than reading - in the hope that the love of reading will follow.

I am actually excited about that idea now!

Agree with all who say take the pressure off and just keep reading to your little year 1. You might find by doing that he reads occasional exciting word like pow or bang! Etc as you go along.
My 2 big boys now at 16 and 20 but I remember very well the 16 year old (at age 4 or 5) sticking his bum in the air and burying his head in the pillow refusing to read. In the end I thought sod this for a game of soldiers and stopped the pressure (plus could go downstairs and relax with a glass of wine!). Both boys doing well. The bum in the air one not a great one for reading for pleasure but passed his gcses this year with flying colours despite that!
It will all come out in the wash!