When feeling overwhelmed/stressed with general life things, does anyone feel very detached?

[Eve55r]

I’m not even sure exactly how to explain it. If I’m feeling stressed with work or parenting or money or anything really I just push those thoughts away and try not to think about them. I hate then sitting with my thoughts worrying about things. I can detach from it but then I also feel detached from most other things and then find myself not socialising with people, reaching out to people etc. I don’t feel depressed but I also do not like this feeling.

can anyone relate?if so have you managed to change this? Do I need to change this?

Many people do this to a greater or lesser extent, myself included. I can often sense something is up with friends because they’ve gone a bit quiet and likewise them with me - it all comes out when we actually speak though!

Talking things through definitely helps, or writing to do lists, or just generally taking baby steps in the right general direction. I sleep a lot better when things are written down and nicely compartmentalised on paper instead of buzzing around my brain like demented bumblebees.

Yeah I think we all do. Perfectly normal. Listen to this song, sums it up perfectly.

I think it's called dissociation, if you want to read more about it. The books on PTSD have a lot about it.

I think it's a natural reaction to stress. Like if you see young children in stressful situations some kick off, while others will pretend to be asleep. I think the young children who pretend to sleep are the ones who naturally prefer to react by dissociation.

I'm not exactly sure, but I think that's what it is. I've been reading a lot about PTSD to help a family member and I'm still a bit uncertain about the terms, but I think this is right ish.

I remember doing it as a child after a very difficult international move. When I went to my new school I found it very hard to be away from my childhood sweetheart and to know that he was gone for good, and I had to find a way to integrate with the new people. I had a feeling that I was separated from all the new people by a glass window, and that I was on one side while they were on the other.

I think that was kind of a little bit like this thing. I don't fully understand it but I think it's the mind's way of protecting itself from overwhelming stress.

Yes. Yoga helped an awful lot.

100% : it's like a coping mechanism for me.

I can't internally cope if I have too many things to think about or do. If I then get a "ping" from the s school "remember to dress your child in a head to toe robot outfit tomorrow" - it sets of "shutdown" and then I'll start catastrophising and avoiding all the "to-do" list and procrastinate. I often go to bed (when kids are at school and I haven't got work ) when I get this sensation. It's like an overwhelm meltdown. I just employ avoidance.

I do eventually snap myself out of it and cajole myself, but it's like a constant cycle.

I know people find this controversial and will come out with all sorts about women's rights etc in those times, but just speaking plainly, I yearn to have been born just a decade or two before when life was simpler, no buzzing notifications on hundreds of apps, and as a woman your role was literally just to make sure the kids were looked after, the house was kept and dinner was on the table. Community was so much stronger too. Mums had aunts and neighbours would share baking recipe's and life tips. Friendships formed. Your kids played with their kids. Now if I want an apple pie recipe, I'm instantly overwhelmed by Google : hundreds of websites and forums. No simple apple pies: all "add this to make it unique" , this pue dish is best, no that pie dish is best. You simply must have this shiny stupid gadget. I feel stressed just writing it.

Bring back aunt Doris's trusty passed down through the generations hearty Apple pie recipe written on the back of a Christmas card.

Life's too complicated and there's too many choices and total societal disconnection

Adding to this, instead of having a pep talk with an aunt or neighbour or friend or parent, everyone is like American - counsellor robots now with their rehearsed 'therapy speak ' and "boundaries".

It's no wonder we dissociate on a frequent basis.

Yes, I do this. The issue though is that DD senses it when I detach (even though I still communicate warmly with her and do all the usual things). It unsettles her so I have to keep more present than I'd otherwise be. I'm finding I go to bed earlier when things are stressful as that gives some escape.

All of this, my banking app constantly pinging to remind me I have no money, millions of emails from companies I ordered a tenners worth of goods from 15 years ago, work expecting more and more for less and less money, COL meaning all I do is work because I can't afford to have any fun.
I understand we have come on in leaps and bounds since the 50's but I often think if you were lucky enough to be married to a nice man the housewife lifestyle would have been idyllic.

I feel you and couldn't agree more. And thankyou for responding with empathy and solidarity rather than the tired "so you want husbands to be able to rape their wives legally?" Affront.

Yes, it's your mind's way of coping: overwhelmed? Switch off.
I find yoga helps too. I do a YouTube session every day, anything from ten minutes to half an hour. It takes practice to be able to still the mind. Also I escape into fiction, when I can find the time. It's calmer than watching crap on TV, but when I do watch TV I knit blanket squares now (for a charity, Hamlin Fistula), which can also be a kind of meditation because it's easy. But anyway, I think what you're experiencing is a sign of stress and your way of coping with that.

I understand completely, obviously I wouldn't want to be 'legally raped' by my husband but I can't help but think if I found a decent man that loved me and was happy to work in a decently earning job whilst I kept house it would be amazing.

Especially as the Internet hadn't been invented and there were no mobile phones pinging information at you all day....bliss.