DD1's friend's mum is giving me the ick

[solitudehiker]

So bit of a petty one but one of DD1’s little pals has a mum who just massively gives me the ick and I don’t know how to handle it without being rude

Every time I see her she’s making comments like “ooh someone likes to be in charge don’t they” or “I bet she keeps you busy” 🙄 always with this fake little laugh like she’s saying something hilarious

She also proper hovers at pick up and if the kids are playing in the playground after school she’ll keep trying to have these long chats with me when I just want to go home and start tea before all hell breaks loose

Would I be totally unreasonable to just be a bit cool with her and not force friendship?? Or do I have to grin and bear it for the sake of the girls getting along??

She's nervous I think. I would just chat along but set off an alarm so you can say "oops have to go thats my alarm!" Never tell her what the alarm is for.

Grin & bear it unfortunately. If she makes comments just go “mmmm” and change the subject.

Tea time alarm.

It's just completely inane small talk. Just say 'yeah.' and go about your day.

The first bit is just a normal woman making normal small talk.

The second bit is you having not learned to say, "I need to get home to feed the kids, see you tomorrow".

But you clearly don't like her so no, of course you shouldn't force a friendship.

She's trying to make friends with you and is a bit nervous. She'll probably become more natural if you actually do get to know each other but if you're not interested in that, you're under no obligation just because your children are friends. Just be polite and then say you have to get going, I'm sure she'll get the picture.

@solitudehiker im not sure this one satisfies the criteria for ‘Ick’ 😅 I’d say she just annoys you ! (And I can see why)

yeah maybe ick is a bit dramatic 😂 I think she just rubs me up the wrong way a bit

I don’t mind a bit of small talk but it’s like she drags it out and I’m there thinking about what to do for tea and DS3 running off towards the car park 🙃

good shout on the fake alarm I might actually do that lol or just start being a bit more “right we better get going” and see if she gets the hint

I don’t want to fall out with her but I don’t really want to be besties either I’m already spread thin keeping the house vaguely standing and the baby fed 😅

That’s not what ‘ick’ is it?! I thought that had to be with someone you’re shagging…

Ok she’s a bit annoying. Treat her like you would an annoying colleague. Be polite, exchange niceties, keep the talk ‘businesslike’ or in this case related to your daughters/school stuff and then make an excuse and rush off. You’re never going to get on with everyone and it really shouldn’t be a big deal.

Freeze her out. She sounds awful.

I feel quite sorry for her actually.
She sounds as though she is trying to be friendly but doesn't have good social skills.
Surely having a bit of small talk and then getting on with your day isn't a big ask?

The world we are living in now seems to be a world where if someone tries to be remotely friendly or make friends with you, it must be shut down immediately.

The other week there was a thread where an elderly man kept saying hello to a poster (and doubtless everyone else who passed him by) just trying to be friendly. Cue thread started about how to ignore his attempts at being pleasant..

Now this.

She's just trying to be friendly with you because your DD are friends OP.
Is it really too much effort from you just to be nice back?

It's little wonder that loneliness and isolation are on the rise.

Giving you the 'ick'? Get the fuck over yourself! 🙄

Prehaps she has social anxiety and needs some friendly interaction in her life. Not sure why her laugh is fake. It sounds like shes trying to push herself out of her comfort zone but might be a little nervous.

I wonder how many mums I gave the ick to back in the day by saying hello and making a little chat 🫣. We truly are an individualistic society now.

I agree.
I've suffered with really bad social anxiety in the past. I had CBT and part of overcoming it was changing my thoughts to not thinking people would be judging me or laughing at me, I was told those thoughts were irrational. From some of the posts I see on here I'd say the thoughts were not irrational.

Most people aren't as unpleasant or as unfriendly as some of these posts would suggest @JLou08 so keep being you and making the first move because if they respond unpleasantly, that's about them, not you. 💐

Having long conversations, dropping hints of falling out are all completely unnecessary.

You're overthinking this, just go about your day after a quick, mindless hello.