Feel like I've aged all at once since turning 40

[EnterFunnyNameHere]

I'm not sure what's wrong with me! I've always relatively happily bumbled along but since turning 40 about 9 months ago i just suddenly feel old. My hair is falling out at a rate of knots, I feel like i look knackered, nothing seems to fit as it did (even though my weight is the same) and i just feel so out of sorts and "not me".

I am usually pretty good at telling myself that no-one else has the time or inclination to worry about what I look like, so does it really matter, but I'm just feeling so "blah" about myself... Is this peri starting? But I'm only 40! Or just a midlife slump??

Has anyone else had this, and if so, any tips for getting out of this headspace?

No advice, but solidarity here. I am feeling the same, like life has crept up on me all of a sudden.

I remember reading this which might help explain it https://www.theguardian.com/science/article/2024/aug/14/scientists-find-humans-age-dramatically-in-two-bursts-at-44-then-60-aging-not-slow-and-steady?CMP=Share_iOSApp_Other

Me too, also 40. Started Dermatica tretinoin recently, that’s helped my face a lot! My skin has gone back to feeling plumper and refreshed after a night’s sleep.

Also toying with signing up to the gym and how best to get back into exercise. I fell off the wagon with regular running since I was about 37 (really felt a dip in energy around then, which I’m sure was due to the hormonal dip that comes around that age, and running started making me ravenous so I stopped as it kept leading to overeating).

… it’s difficult to fit the gym around everything else, but even if I just go swimming and sit in the sauna once a week I think that’ll help me feel a bit better. Maybe I’ll venture into the weights room after a few weeks!

btw this mum in her 60s on Instagram convinces me of the mindset that age is just a number!

https://www.fitmomof7.com

When I turned 40 I waited for my face and body to crumble, but it didn’t happen for a few more years. I lost a lot of hair, GP just told me to take iron, no tests done. Looking back, that was the start of peri.
My suggestion is that you look at your alcohol intake, find an exercise you like and stick to it, get a good cleanser/moisturiser routine, start taking magnesium glycinate for sleep, vit B complex for energy, vit D in the winter, and a good omega 3 for your joints.

I was shocked how quickly my already thin hair thinned out even more and my hairline receded. It’s really getting me down to the point I think I need to try and look at some sort of hair extension/fillers.

Mid life is hard, but it's not downhill forever more, I felt better at 50 than at 42. You're probably just at your most stressed, most worn out point. Time for a lifestyle overhaul - reduce your stress, address your health, have some fun and really care for yourself. Get you back.

Well, I'm glad its not just me, although hoping I'm getting my "44yrs aging jump" done early rather than meaning I've got an extra one...!

I think it's probably very fair about exercise, I do a lot of walking, but I wonder if I need to do something more than that - I used to enjoy cycling, I could try picking up that again. I do take some supplements (b12, mutivit, vit D) already - who knows if they are helping, I felt better when I started b12 but now not sure if that was placebo.

It just feels overwhelming, that thing of forcing yourself to be energetic when you feel so demoralised in the hope you're less demoralised in the long term. I knew aging happened, but I wasn't expecting the suddeness or the "what's the point" feelings. I'm also aware how lucky I am and that getting older is a gift not everyone gets, but that's not helping much right now i admit.

I think looks-wise you do age much more in early 40s - I always looked a lot younger than I was but I don't anymore and I can tell because people always used to sound surprised when I said my age and they don't anymore. And that's fine really. I think for all the beauty-industry wibbling about it, most women look pretty young until 40 because nobody actually notices 'fine lines', but once you hit 40 you get the telltale deeper lines around your nose and mouth.

I have to say, while I probably don't have as much energy overally, physically I feel pretty good - I don't feel as though I am loads less fit and well than my 20s, in fact if anything I have fewer headaches and more stamina, but then I did start going to the gym in my mid 20s. I don't work super hard, I'm not slim or muscly, or super fit, but I think I'm maintaining decent fitness by keeping it up regularly.

It could be perimenopause, look up the symptoms and watch out for it. Might be worth getting your bloods done too. And I know it’s trending to say lift weights but I started in my 50s and am seeing a body change for the better….whereas nothing else had really helped. Sleep too is so essential, I’m looking haggard at the moment as I can’t sleep and have had to stop hrt which helped.

Thanks - with the weight lifting, is that at gym or something you do at home?

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with this💐It really is the bloody pits when it's something that feels so obvious every time you see a mirror isn't it? I don't think I'm quite there (yet), but the "how bad might it get" has led to a huge amount of reading about the topic already. Have you ever considered minoxidil or similar? When I'm having a very bad day (usually in the office with it's bright overhead lighting) i think about what i could do and it seems to be effective for most people.

That said, like I've said before, the logical side of me knows that it's always going to be more obvious and look worse to me than anyone else!

Mine was 50 till then I looked much younger, then age hit me in the face like a shovel. It was when I had the menopause.

@EnterFunnyNameHere I go to a gym 3 times a week (ish) for a weights class - I need someone to tell me what to do. It just gets harder as you get older! With me it was when I hit 50 that I had a bit of a shock and an aging moment but that may have coincided with wearing reading glasses

I look better when I get more fresh air as well so I'm going to up the amount of walking I do. .