Dating 'laddy' men - outcomes, comparisons etc!

[Thundertoast]

Intrigued to hear experiences on this one!

If you have settled longterm with a 'laddy' lad, how would you say its impacted your life (good or bad or not at all!)

If you previously dated 'laddy' men and are now with a non 'laddy' person, have you noticed anything in particular? And vice versa, if you have gone from a non lad to a lad.

I will hold my hands up here and say that 'laddy' blokes are the complete opposite of what I go for and i find 'laddy' behaviour in general to be really unattractive, but thats just based on my personal experiences. I read some threads where people say 'thats just what men are like' in relation to laddy behaviour and I think, but you're only dating one type of man, surely? If you dated only laddy men, your friends only dated laddy men, your family was quite laddy, then fell for a non laddy one, were you shocked to discover other options were actually available? I know people who prefer 'lads' and im intrigued!

And now the word 'laddy' ceases to have any meaning, given I've said it so much...

And now the word 'laddy' ceases to have any meaning, given I've said it so much...

Was literally thinking that as I got to the end of your post and then you took the words straight out of my mouth!

I know, I do feel like I've committed a bit of a crime there!

In Scotland a male child is a laddy, we spell it laddie.

I will bite... I always hated the idea of "laddy" men (and still do). They come across loud, always out with friends till all hours, obsessed with football and beer, silly banter and jokes. Probably ladies men/flirts with anything. I would be worried about cheating, gambling, drugs, fighting, misogyny.

I met DH at work, and thought he was "laddy", but I got to know him and then started dating after several years of working together. Some bits of him are laddy, others aren't.

• Loves beer and football, into his clothes and "fashion", likes motorbikes and sports cars, used to flirt with the ladies at work, young and old. In his younger years (before we met) would fight and take drugs.
• These days he is very quiet and doesn't have many friends - in fact he's a real homebody. Loves animals and being in nature. Is highly intelligent too and genuinely funny and caring.
• Turns out he is neurodivergent, the drink, drugs and fighting were his was of dealing with uncomfortable situations 20-30 years ago. Now he deals with it by living outside the city/town, being in nature and not surrounding himself with too many people.

My ex just after uni wasn't "laddy" at all: a computer science nerd with a masters degree, never went out, didn't drink. Wasn't flirty. Didn't seem to care about clothes/fashion but dressed how your mum/gran would like. Very articulate and respectful... on thy surface. I later found out he had been cheating on me with anyone and everyone. He also had very sexist ideas about women vs men and sex (Andrew Tate style).

Those are my two polar comparisons. If DP and I broke up, I wouldn't want to date a "laddy" man. I think any type of man can be an dickhead. Probably best to look for red flags - although I still think being "laddy" is a red flag in and of itself. At the same time, a quiet nerd can have loads of red flags and problematic behaviour too!

I think it's a matter of taste. Laddy men can be decent, but I've never been attracted to that type because they seem immature and don't value the things I value.

I truly cannot think of anything more unattractive. 😂

Loud, crass, substance misusing, every weekend at the football or golfing with the boys, probably likes to shag a flag or two, possibly into Andrew Tate. No thanks.

I will take polite, quietly confident, enjoys a cream tea as much as a pint, enjoys being with family, not into disappearing to engage in “sports”, socially and politically conscious, loves woodworking and a good book, thank you.

My first boyfriend was a lad's lad. He was out most Saturday nights getting pissed, falling in the door at 4am. Golfing and football days out on some Sundays. Manual labour job with associated banter. Lads holidays. Now all that bollocks was acceptable when we were teenager and in our early 20s but it wore very thin when the behaviour continued after we had bought a house. At 25 I could see no change and thought to myself there is no way I'm entering my 30s with someone like this, so I ended it.
From what I gather he is still behaving like that now we are in our mid 30s and I knew that would be the case. These types never grow up.

I met my now husband a few months after the break up and specifically wanted a man that was the complete opposite to before. Calm, stable, not into partying, thoughtful, considerate, intelligent, caring. Life has never been better!

I actually shudder at the thought of a laddy lad now. It just reeks of immaturity and being a bit thick if I'm honest. Bluergh!

The term "Laddy" is designed to make shitty behaviour by men sound amusing and acceptable
Its neither

I've always been into nerds 🤓 I'd rather a lord of the rings marathon with yumym snacks than alcohol and watching the football 😬

I'm sure there are some decent "lads" out there just not my cup of tea at all.