Long winded to avoid drip feeding so sorry. My son is 5 and very close friends with another boy in his other year 1 class, practically best friends. But for whatever reason, the boy’s mother doesn’t like me. I have tried to be friends with her and hang out, and she would say that we should, but I’d never hear anything of it. And she barley smiles at me at school or talks to me yet talks to the other mums happily although I try my best, so have just given up.
After school they had gone to the park together once or twice with a few other mums at the beginning of reception/preschool and that’s it. We exchanged numbers at the beginning of reception and I had asked our kids to meet up in summer this year, and she told me she would let me know and asked how my summer was going. I responded and asked about hers, to no reply so just left it and stopped trying since.
Since starting year 1 she told me that my son exposed himself to her son according to him and told me this in front of the other mums, so I was in shock and apologised in front of everyone and said I’d address it. I spoke to the school to find out what happened who told me that he pulled down his trousers slightly while sitting on the carpet to expose the back of his boxers and the kids were all laughing and being silly, the child included and that it wasn’t a situation that needed addressing so they didn’t tell me, and that the child didn’t tell them anything in way of a complaint either. (Nothing omitted, their exact words.)
I told my son to apologise anyway to the boy and to avoid awkwardness and no bad feelings with the mum considering they are good friends, which he did (and which made me think she 100% now had a reason to not like me anyway). I’m extremely painfully shy and non-confrontational and still felt a bit embarrassed about what happened in front of the mums but left it at that. My son and her son still play together and are best friends and talk in the playground at drop off and my son talks about him all the time positively, so unless I have been told otherwise, no issues since.
My son is quiet and shy like me which is why they get on as a lot of the other kids can be a bit more loud and boisterous and the mum has seen my son and her son interact in the playground fine and can see what my son is like. The next day after this happened she was incredibly overly smiley and nice to me which was odd and then back to awkward again the next day.
Then I get a message from her recently, telling me that she got a call from the school to say her son was pushed by another kid, banging his head and her son told her it was my son. So I apologise and said I’d get to the bottom of it. I ask the school via class messages why I wasn’t told about this, and they tell me that it was a clear accident and not on purpose so there was no need and dealt with in class. And they said when they spoke to the boy’s mum to inform her (they wouldn’t confirm the child’s name or her name but we know it who it was) they reiterated that it was a clear accident and that she was fully made aware of that because ‘we’ (the teachers) knew that.
So then I message the mum to tell her that the school informed me it was an accident which is why I wasn’t informed, but that regardless I have told my son to be more careful and apologise. She replies to say, ‘aha oh, I was told by teacher (different race teacher) that my son was pushed. Glad to know it was an accident.’ So either she’s dramatised this on purpose or the school are lying which I obviously doubt.
I’d have felt weird telling her what the school told me to call out her lie, and clearly she doesn’t like me hence stirring things up. I’ve invited her to my sons class party in month which also makes things awkward. But now I don’t know how to navigate seeing her at school, thinking to steer clear and have no idea why she keeps doing these things or clearly has an issue with me or my son.