Terrible experience very upset

[UniqueGoldNewt]

Hi,
just posting as something happened yesterday and I’ve been feeling very down and upset.
so i have been diagnosed with PCOS & it’s quite severe, ive had this since I was 16. Ive also been told by endocrinologist and other professionals i have strong suspected endometriosis & this could definitely be why im having awful pelvic and lower back pain, bleeding heavily from the back passage on my monthlies etc.
i saw a woman gynaecologist from a referral of my GP a couple months ago. She was nice enough and agreed saying that she could confirm it with a laparoscopy if I got my BMI down but she was helpful enough & said we would follow up in 6 months. She did other things like prescribe hormonal contraception & say there would be follow up however she was a bit funny and said a bizarre phrase “lots of young women do like to use endometriosis as a fashion statement”. I turned round and said “what? I don’t choose to be in this much pain everyday”
anyways, that was that.
now, this is the main thing….
I called the gynae place and got an appointment before the 6 months as my pelvic pain has got so severe- I feel sick from pain and it’s just ruining my life. The receptionist offered me an appointment very soon and I asked if this was with the same lady gynaecologist. I was told yes.

I attend my appointment & im led to a room by a nice enough nurse. Straight away it’s an older male gynaecologist and not the woman but I look past that. I say hello as I walk towards the patient chair. He ignored me. Hes sat up giving me the dirtiest look. He leans towards me and goes “Whats the problem today how can I help?”
he doesn’t have my notes up or anything and as im explaining the pain, the situation etc Hes nodding and looking very bored. Then when I’ve finished explaining he says “the pain couldn’t have got worse. PCOS is just immature follicles it doesn’t cause any pain. What I think is happening here is this is referred pain - your problem is back pain because you’re overweight. What is your BMI?”
he didn’t even have my notes or BMI up and he was staring in disgust as I walked in.
Yes i am overweight but I’ve lost weight and my BMI has gone down a bit and I wasn’t helping my case appearance wise by wearing a big baggy hoodie but I don’t think it’s acceptable to talk to patients like that? This man was judging me straight off appearance it seems and wasn’t willing to help. I stayed calm and explained that the pain is all over my pelvic area and bikini line and he just dismissed me and said “it’s referred from your back you need to lose weight i dont know why you’ve come or what you want me to do”. He also said “ I can give you the mirena coil to stop the periods” but I explained I wanted to get to the bottom of the pain and I had only just got my periods back with medication.
he then proceeded to keep fat shaming and dismissing me so I calmly said “Thank you so much I’ll find someone who can help me”
then as I was walking towards the door out of the office he was laughing snarkily and in a nasty manner. The nurse looked quite taken aback and upset. I feel so humiliated and down- I had to go straight to bed for hours as I felt so depressed and defeated. It’s put me off going to the doctors ever again. I know im overweight but I’ve lost weight with metformin even if it was just a bit and ive never been treated like this really by doctors.
im in so much pain and painkillers have now stopped working. Mefenamic acid was amazing and really helped then as my pain got worse over the past 3 days or so it’s stopped working. I also explained this to male gynaecologist I saw and he said “maybe it worked before but it’s stopped working now this is probably to do with your weight”
this medicine worked like a treat less than a month ago….
:( :( just feel so down and in pain now
does anyone have any experience like this? Just feel we don’t get taken seriously at all especially with women’s health
:( dont know what to do next

Severe PCOS, bicornuate uterus and about 20 rare genetic conditions here that I won't bore you with. I should be dead by now, but I am the Jack Russell of the patient world and persistent at getting the right treatment. A gynecologist is about as much use for PCOS as a chocolate teapot, in most cases. A fat shaming one is less useful than a chocolate teapot because they fail to see the metabolic basis of the condition preventing weight loss. You probably know about the link to insulin resistance. Get that under control and the weight shall drop off. I was told I was too 'thin' to have PCOS many times, and my blood tests were normal. It took about 5 years of being a medical pest to get an ultrasound and treatment. I knew I wasn't waking up with a Yeti beard for no good reason. Metformin was a game changer for me, but it doesn't work on all cases of PCOS. You need to have your thyroid tested and ferritin if you have a lot of blood loss. Many gynaecologists like to throw contraceptive pills and coils at PCOS patients, but it is not helpful in all instances and may cause further insulin resistance with long term use. I was told a 'harmless' lump on my hand was benign and I was wasting GP time looking for 'dangerous and unnecessary' surgery for it. I pestered until I got a referral, and a surgeon did take it off. Misdiagnosed it as 'harmless' (probably biased by GP referral notes). Failed to investigate it properly after misreading the pathology report, and fast forward three years I was diagnosed with sarcoma. Had a fair bit of my hand chopped off and a lot of treatment that would not have been needed if they got it right the first time. I had to relearn to drive again, write, type and pick stuff up from scratch as nerves were damaged, and you need to adapt to new ways of doing stuff. My point to you is never take poor treatment from a medical professional as this is your life, and their life goes on when they leave the room regardless of your suffering. Ask your GP for a referral to endocrinology, and suggest a local specialist with interest in your condition.

A fat man would have been treated as poorly as a fat woman. Its an easy way to get rid of the patient. You are fat therefore your problems are related to that and easily solved by you becoming a slim person .

Fuck sake, she has PCOS. It’s extremely difficult to lose weight with PCOS.

@UniqueGoldNewt fuck PALS, go straight to the formal complaint process.

He obviously isn't aware that weight gain is a symptom of PCOS 🙄

So sorry Op, this is par for the course especially from male medical professionals.
I have had this happen several times.
One of the most ignorant was being told my hidradenitis was caused by my diabetes.
I'm not diabetic and HS is an autoimmune disease.
He told me this without reading my notes.
I did put him straight.

I had a situation with a male doctor once. I was applying for the British Army. I'd passed all the entrance exams and had to have a full medical first with a male civvy doctor before I could attempt the fitness test - which I had trained for.
I had to strip down to just knickers (feeling very vulnerable) while this doctor examined me. Then he announced that I had failed the medical because I had 'superficial' fat and women of my age (early twenties) don't lose it. I said that I would no doubt lose the weight in the training and he gave me a dirty look and told me I wouldn't have the chance to, as he was failing me on the medical (I wasn't even that much overweight and he could have just worked this out from my BMI anyway - without the examination) At the exit interview I said why I had failed the medical and the team encouraged me to get out there and lose the weight but it was too late. The doctor's comments had already stuck in my mind. Completely unnecessary.

OP, that’s really not on. There’s definitely a weird culture at that clinic. You have every right to complain.

You must have gone to the same charm school as the unpleasant doctor. You should ask for your money back for the empathy lessons.