I wrote this to close a chapter. To put it somewhere in the public domain - which I feel the need to do (as weird as that may sound). I don't need anybody to respond and I don't need sympathy. Somehow this public record is validating.
Please don't read if you find the subject upsetting.
You called me evil after I told the truth. That word says more about you than it will ever say about me.
I was abused as a child — many times at your hand, or through your refusal to protect me. I was not an object. I was a child: a living, breathing human being. Instead of taking responsibility, you turned the story on me. That is the pattern of the narcissistic abuser: when confronted with truth, attack the one who speaks it.
You cannot rewrite history. Every word I have spoken about what happened is true. The reckoning is yours to face. Mum’s is hers — and she too chose absence over protection. She could have broken the cycle. She did not. It poisoned her, and it nearly poisoned me. I will not forgive it, nor carry it any longer.
Your chance to be a father has passed. You had many opportunities to make this right, and each time you chose the lie.
I choose the truth. I choose to continue being the decent, warm, loving human being I am. And in the end, your final act gave me freedom: in calling me “evil,” you revealed your true self. You showed me who you are. And in that moment, I was released.
For that, I thank you.