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Original poster

DD boyfriend staying over

8 replies

Madeamistake21 · 23/09/2025 20:43

I have 2 adult DD's. DD1 is 22 and DD2 is 18. DD1 moved back from uni last year and pays me £200 a month, works full time, DD2 pays £180 a month, is doing an apprenticeship. They mainly buy their own food and cook for themselves as I work long days and also have a 10yr old.

DD1 boyfriend stays over 5ish nights a week, sometimes I find it annoying as he is always here and they cook late.

I am just wondering how much your adult children pay. I would love not to have to charge rent but being on my own it is hard.

OP posts:
Zetter · 23/09/2025 20:55

My Daughter is 23 and moved back in at our suggestion after uni. She gives us £200 in rent per month but and this is a massive but on the condition she saves a big chunk of her wages towards a deposit for a place of her own rather than blowing it on rent.
To be fair to her she is now up to about £30k in savings so has stuck with it and we are banking most of her rent as we don’t really need it.
if your daughter is earning anything reasonable I would be expecting her to be saving like mad or contributing a fair bit more especially if her boyfriend is parked round with you five nights a week!

janehopper · 23/09/2025 21:01

Five times a week isn't reasonable. She needs to get her own place.

Original poster
Madeamistake21 · 23/09/2025 21:06

He has only finished uni this year and doesnt have a full time job yet. Im not going to lie, I do find it annoying he is here most of the time.

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Burntt · 23/09/2025 21:23

Cock lodger by proxy?

id not tolerate 5 nights a week. Maybe once or twice if they were doing a big chunk of housework and I’m getting home to home cooked meals enough to put me in a welcoming mood

Rafting2022 · 23/09/2025 21:24

Where is his home in relation to yours distance-wise?

KateKontent · 23/09/2025 21:25

Five nights a week is far too much. Where is he the other two nights? Can't he spend a bit more time there? Your dd can go with him if they can't bear to be apart.

Original poster
Madeamistake21 · 23/09/2025 21:37

He lives at home with his parents! DD picks him up at 6.15pm on her way home from work, they leave at 7.30am and she takes him home before going to work. I did bring this up with DD months ago that maybe she needs to stay at his a bit and she started too but now they just keep coming here. Most of the time she doesnt even ask if he can stay, she just gets him on her way home.

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 23/09/2025 22:24

I would say he can stay a night at the weekend but no more. If they want to live together every night, they can go off and do that.

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