The relationship power balance has shifted

[ClawsandEffect]

I know, I know. This is a very much debated topic on MN.

But I suddenly realised that within my lifetime, in my personal memory, the power balance between men and women has shifted.

When I was a teenager, we were desperate to have boyfriends and the boys definitely had the power. Having a boyfriend gave us a little bit of power. And boys dominated those relationships. We all wanted to get married.

Now the balance has done a 180-degree turn. Women are in control. Yeah, men are kicking and screaming, a la Andrew Tate bros, trying to maintain their grip. But mostly Western women don't come up for that shit. Men that aren't pulling their weight (most of 'em) are critiqued publicly in the media, in advertising and on public forums.

Look at all the older women who have left their marriages and no longer want to date. Younger women who are choosing to remain childless. Men are not an attractive option anymore, UNLESS they are evolved into equal relationship partners. And most aren't.

Where are we going from here? Celibacy? Single career women (as in Japan) refusing to marry? WHY don't men just work out what women want and give it to us, IF they want relationships and families?

I think that while the power balance may have shifted for some women you only have to read MN to know that it hasn't for many.
I think to say Women are in control is patently untrue. Some women may be, but a vast number aren't.

Online it seems as though society is shifting away from relationships and men and women really don’t like each other very much anymore but I don’t tend to see so much of this in my middle aged, middle class real life.

Japan and South Korea both have plummeting birthrates but also much more traditional gender roles. So it's counterintuitive that the societies with the most rigidity in social expectations for men/women are the ones affected the most. If there is a link (correlation isn't causation) it might be that women are forced into a choice between single career woman and giving up their career to marry/have children
There is now a very extreme feminist movement in Korea (the 4B movement) but that developed almost in opposition to the very extreme "meninist" movements. But I don't know whether the extent of male mysogyny is a cause of the low birth rate or the result. It might be that greater social isolation/likelihood of not having children is causing much stronger division between the sexes.

There's definitely perception the power balance has shifted. You can tell because of the proliferation of manosphere posts talking about how regretful women will be when they get to thirty and find they are left on the shelf having wasted their twenties. And memes thereon. It feels like some "male influencers" believe it and are desperate to shift the power back. But I don't think it's a healthy approach to the problem.

WHY don't men just work out what women want and give it to us, IF they want relationships and families?
In fairness to men, a lot of them do. Or, more likely, they also want the same things. I think we are in a better position here than in some places particularly because these very difficult battles over "women's work" were fought by older generations. Which does not mean there aren't serious imbalances. But it's not that hard to find men who also believe women have a right to careers outside the home and at least in theory believe in sharing housework. They are just less likely to be single.

I live on a street of 3 & 4 bedroom homes. Most of them are owned and lived in by unmarried (or divorced) women. At my end of the street, about 14 houses, there are 8 single women (2 with children), 2 single men, 1 older childless married couple and a family.

Most of us here are professionals. Mix of middle and working class.

I'm older and although I have friends/contacts who are younger and have spouses and families, most people I know who are my age are single. It's definitely a newish phenomenon. Something is changing. None of the single women that I know on my street (ages ranging from 30 to 60) are looking for partners.