I’m so terrified

[paulhollywoodshairgel]

Since I was a small child one of my biggest fears has been nuclear war. I am currently terrified that we’re headed towards it. I try to stay away from from the news but then I feel like I’m burying my head. I don’t of course have any solid evidence that it’s going to happen.. I just feel like with everything going on that it’s more and more likely. Does anyone else feel like this?

No, not at all. I never worry about anything that’s out of my control, there’s no point.

The world is one screwed up place, something may kick off, don’t know what, but until then I’m quite happy to ignore the madness.

I'm with you and also terrified. But I reassure myself that I have a very overactive imagination at the best of times and so can talk myself into being scared when it's not always warranted. I tend to avoid the news for my own mental health, and find it easier to just not think about it if I'm not being constantly prodded by the media into fear.

Same as PP I try not to focus and worry about things I have no control over. Realistically what can you do about it?

Turn off your phone and tend your own garden/village. By which I mean find what you can control and start making it better. Do small good deeds and focus on what is going on immediately around you. It’s absolutely OK to ‘bury your head’ if it keeps you healthy. And when you feel able for it, the news will always be there ready and waiting to traumatise you all over again.

No, because there is absolutely nothing I can do about it. It is totally out of my control, anything I do (including worrying) will have zero effect. I'm a huge worrier with a diagnosed anxiety disorder and it's one of the things that just doesn't bother me.
I won't tell you to "not worry" as thats not how it works. Honestly though, every moment you spend fretting and ruining your own happiness will have no impact on if it happens or not.
If it is any comfort at all, no leaders realistically want to start a nuclear war. Most talk of it is posturing. A nuclear war won't end well for any sides taking part.

Not a lot we can do IF it happens.

Well if there is, chances are you won't even know about It when it happens, so what's the point in worrying?

I found anti depressants useful for this.

I worry about a lot of things but never nuclear war. It’s just too big and I can do nothing about it.

Agree with pp, it's not 'sticking your head in the sand' to not worry about things that are completely out of your control.

I lived through a war (albeit not a nuclear one) Everything is of course so terrifying at first, but for the sake of your sanity, you just have to get on with things. The most valuable thing I learned was that people got on with their normal daily life as much as possible. Went to school, went to work. Yes, horrific things happened. But there was also a sense of 'togetherness' and you emerge much stronger.
Allowing yourself to spiral will never help. I know it's difficult to control the thoughts but having small goals can help.
I always try and reflect on the good parts of every day. If you do this consistently, your mind begins to learn to remember the positives. No matter how small they may be.

It won't go nuclear op. Those capable of pressing the red button are far too egotistical to bring the retaliation upon themselves.

Cyber war is more likely, which would be pretty shit.

I'm not worried about nuclear war, I doubt it'll ever happen. But op, I can understand your concern and I do worry about a lot of other things.

It annoys me when people say that there's no point in worrying about things you can't change. That's precisely WHY I worry about it. If I could change it, then I would and then I wouldn't have to worry.

Plus, having played a lot of war type games, id like to think that someone in the room would take the button masher out themselves before the button was pressed 😃

First of all OP, I want to send you a big hug because I used to struggle with things like this all the time. I was deeply anxious and very depressed. Things only got better for me when I had some counselling, and started focusing on the good in the world and what I can control. There is plenty outside of our control, but loads of things we can control. It takes time, but try focusing on little things in your life that you like doing, the people you like spending time with, spend time in the sunlight, exercise, eat good food and take care of yourself.

I found this website an absolute god send when the news was giving me palpitations and anxiety meltdowns. I still read it regularly now. Every Friday they have a “what went well this week” article which lifts my spirits no end. https://www.positive.news

Remember, bad news sells, generates clicks and conversation, that’s why we see it every where - good news doesn’t, and isn’t profitable, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t happening 💛

I agree with 'not in your control, not for you to worry'.

It might help to think about the fact that, in the mid 1970s , my parents best friends, very sensible, rational people, debated whether to have kids because nuclear war seemed so certain to happen imminently.

They did decide to have kids because you can live a life of worry under a 'maybe' that you can't control, even if it seems pretty likely, or you can get on with living basically.

Wishing you all the best and hoping you can find a way to cope.

Thanks everyone. My husband is quite mocking if I ever bring it up. It is one thing that truly terrifies me. I’m medicated up to my eyeballs for my mental health but they don’t cure/stop everything.

Nope, no point worrying about it. Focus on the world more immediately around you and what you have some agency in. Have a break from the news. Don't feed the futile and most likely unfounded fears that will waste the life you have.

I only worry about the stuff I can control. I certainly have no extra space to be concerned about things that are out of my control! If it happens, so be it!

Bury your head my love, there’s nothing wrong with that at all.

Oh, and thank you, OP, for starting this thread, because one of the things that I find helps me when I get anxious about the topic is to read posts saying 'it will never happen, because....' For some reason, other people's certainty (even if they are not seasoned political correspondents) helps to ground me and make me think 'of course they are right, this could never happen.'

So I concentrate on those rather than the doom-sayers.

It would be like a child tempted to touch wet paint. Or a nettle. There will be someone reasonably sensible behind them saying "thats really not a good idea sir"