Adult DC board or no board

[LaughterOctopus]

If you have adult DC who are working adults now. Do you charge them board? If so, is it less or equal to market rate?

If they are working, do you care what they do with their money once they've paid their bit of the bills?

As in if you don't charge them board and they are going out out often and spending a lot, would it bother you because "they should be saving more"?

Or is it more of a once they've done their bit at home, paid their share of the bills, done their bit of keeping up the house, you just let them be.

If you don't charge them board and you see them going out a lot and spending their income freely, would that make you change your mind and then charge them board?

We took a nominal sum from our youngest to cover share of utilities. He was welcome to basics from the fridge/cupboard but often bought his own food/cooked for us. A hard worker, he was saving for an house deposit.
Should be completing in a month or so 😃

My parents charged me £100 a week after I left uni and got a stable job. So far less than market rate. After three years, they gave that money back to me (it amounted to about 15k) and I used it to buy my first house.

I’ll do the same with my children. They need to learn they just can’t blow all their wages. I wouldn’t charge them anywhere near market value. A room in a house in many parts of the country would be 1000 pounds plus nowadays. But I would say 250 a month is about right, even £500 if they have a decent salary.

Board, nothings for free.

I won't be charging any board as I am from a culture where taking money from any family member is anathema. ( No, adults don't grow up feckless and spoilt, for the most part).

I may ask them to buy groceries or their own toiletries.

I never charged my 2 Sons, solely to help them save for a deposit to move out. One has left, the other pays for meals out, holidays, theatre/cinema. My own parents charged me 20% of my take home earnings, which I think was about right

Board. 23 yo DSS buys food he likes but does not buy any of the basics which he uses liberally. He also doesn’t pay towards bills or council tax. When he gets a pay rise I will suggest that his board goes up too as it’s currently £75/w. He also takes excessively long (20 min) showers twice a day which I think is excessive

However, he’s a kind and decent young man who cleans his room and the bathroom he shares with his sister, cleans up after himself in the kitchen (now!) and has been doing his own laundry since he was 16. DSD (20) also does her share of chores when not at uni and has done her own laundry since age 13

They recognise that doing chores and paying their way are life skills so they’ve never complained [within my earshot 🤣]

Me too but I would say that in these cultures,. expectations across the board are very different

My parents would never ever take a penny from me. But they would expect a lot of other things from me - e.g. if an extended family member needed to be picked up from the airport, and a LOT more in terms of chores than white British folk expect. By the age of 14/15, I was doing an hour of housework most days of the week.

I think that is how these cultures end up without spoiled children/adults

Why do you want to know OP?

Yes, there are expectations. I wasn't doing much housework at 15 though!

I also don't allow partners to stay over, for which I have been called cruel and controlling on here. That's my line in the sand.

If I were skint, then yes, I might have to ask for board, but I would have to be desperate. No right or wrong answer to this question.

No board for the moment.

DD graduated last year. She has a job and is commuting 2 days a week to London and working at home otherwise. She wants to move to London once her job is made permament and is saving to enable this. Charging her board would just make this harder. I know the idea of putting money away and giving it to them later is popular, but I don't like the idea of controlling them in this way. I want saving to be their decision and in their control.

Son has only just graduated and has no job and no money but is trying! Again, charging board would not be helpful.

If at any point I felt my kids were in a position where they could move out (or were not trying hard enough to get to that position) and were staying at home because it was easy and free then I would start charging to given them to give an added incentive to go. And I would probably keep the money!

We can easily afford not to charge them anything, so that's not an issue.

What is your take on this @LaughterOctopus or are you on a fishing expedition?

Exactly what I was thinking.

If they are buying their own groceries you are effectively making them pay board, not directly to you but they’re paying it

I’ve always thought I’d never charge my ‘children’ board. Whilst they are at school or uni then no I wouldn’t charge anything. If they got to like age 25 working full time or even actually part time then yes I may ask for a small contribution to water and electricity, especially if I’m still having to work to pay for it all as well

No board,

sge graduated this summer, no job yet.

We have seen to children through university and have another. We are not in a position to board them 100%. They don't live at home so it hasn't been an issue.

Which magazine is this article for, OP?

Yes, I suppose. DS eats stuff that none of us eat, so I doubt he would object. And likes posh toiletries.

It depends on if you need the money. We didn’t charge ours anything because they were saving for their own homes. They only lived at home briefly after uni.

We didn’t charge but on condition they saved, they did. They did buy some groceries eg the cereal they wanted and lunch bits