Dealing with guilt and sadness if I stop trying for a second child

[TheNeverEndingOver]

I'm currently having my sixth miscarriage. We have one DC who is 4, and have since had five miscarriages in a row (having had one miscarriage before DC was born). I've had two D&C surgeries and may need a third for this current pregnancy. I'm 41.

I don't know if I can go on, but I am plagued by this huge guilt that they will be an only child. I know it's ridiculous, and there is nothing wrong with being an only child, but I've also had comments from family members (mainly his side), about not 'giving up hope' and 'DC will be alone'. It makes me feel selfish if we stop trying, and also sad for DC not to have any siblings/blood nieces and nephews in future. Has anyone been through the same?

I am so sorry for your losses. Those are brutal, cumulative experiences.

You can only make the decision that’s right for you and what you feel resilient about. But I am a very happy only child whose parents decided to stop trying for a second baby after a similar experience to yours. I grew up in a very happy home, with loving and attentive parents and we are a very close family, which has welcomed in my partner, lovingly. My mother remains very sad about her experiences but also was able to take a huge amount of comfort from being able to raise me lovingly and give me all that I could ever have asked for.

Im sure that whatever you decide, you will do the same for your little one and I’m putting all good wishes out into the world for you not to have to suffer in the way you have done, whatever happens.

Thank you so much, you really made me tear up - such kind words. Its hard, I don't know anyone in real life who has been in this position - everyone I know actually had a second child. It's so lovely to be able to connect with people who understand or have insight into being an only child.

Thank you so much for sharing your childhood experience too, it sounds wonderful x