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Original poster

To think why would you encourage this ?

18 replies

GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 21:05

My child is in school with a child they used to be quite friendly with. However this child tends to hit, punch and strangle my child regularly. Ive asked for them to be kept apart. This child's mum had a habit of being pushy and basically playing people off against each other. Over the summer I decided to reduce contact. I have informed my ex of this. Ive found out this child is having a playdate with mine at my exes house. I knows its his time his rules but really

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Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 21:54

😃

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Sprogonthetyne · 21/09/2025 22:13

Not really the same as you say it was a regular pattern but I made a point of organising a playdate with a kid who had hit mine. The kids in question had SEN and was overwhelmed, so the hitting wasn't malicious, and I kind of felt sorry for the mum as she was worried that her kid would end up without any friends.

Though you'd know better then me if your ex is the type to try and do a thoughtful thing to suport the kid/other parent. Ex's tend on to be.

Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 22:17

No he's not that type. This child has repeatedly hit my child in front of me. He also tries to take my child away from his group of friends. He's quite aggressive and I know alot of parents have complained about him. Its unfortunate but I dont want my child hurt all the time.

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ThreePears · 21/09/2025 22:21

How old is your child?

Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 22:21

7

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Lavender14 · 21/09/2025 22:27

To be honest at that age (presuming the other child is 7) I'd be really worried if the other child is witnessing those behaviours at home and I'd be more concerned about having the other parents around my child than the other child themselves if there's no other signs of SEN or ND or difficult circumstances.

Have the school looked at this behaviour as a potential safeguarding flag for the other child involved?

I'd probably be following your child's lead to be honest, if they want to pursue the friendship with a lot of conversations about boundaries and what a good friend looks like along the way. And I'd make sure an adult supervised them at all times and my child would never go to the other child's house.

Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 22:32

Lavender14 · 21/09/2025 22:27

To be honest at that age (presuming the other child is 7) I'd be really worried if the other child is witnessing those behaviours at home and I'd be more concerned about having the other parents around my child than the other child themselves if there's no other signs of SEN or ND or difficult circumstances.

Have the school looked at this behaviour as a potential safeguarding flag for the other child involved?

I'd probably be following your child's lead to be honest, if they want to pursue the friendship with a lot of conversations about boundaries and what a good friend looks like along the way. And I'd make sure an adult supervised them at all times and my child would never go to the other child's house.

Thank you. Unfortunately I cannot police what goes on in his dad's house. I hold my boundaries though so no play dates at mine or on my time. I think there is some sen but im unsure.

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FuzzyWolf · 21/09/2025 22:35

I would imagine the child has SEN. Is one of the other parents likely to also go along given his age and behaviour? With 1:1 supervision I would be less concerned than I would be at school.

When you spoke to your ex about reducing contact, what was their response? Are they aware of your concerns?

Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 22:40

The parent won't be there. I have discussed with my ex concerns but he ignores me or mansplains

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FuzzyWolf · 21/09/2025 22:43

In that case I would make sure he is aware of your concerns in writing and you keep evidence just in case this ends up being a bigger picture of him not looking out for your child properly.

Hopefully in a calm and quiet environment without the stimulation of school, it will be ok.

Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 22:46

This child has been in my house before and had no issues strangling my child in front of me with his mother looking on. I despair.

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Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 23:11

Im really worried about this play date. Next thing he'll be back at this kids and I really don't want that.

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Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 21/09/2025 23:14

Ive seen this mother out with her child. She never knows where he is as he runs off. She ignores him aswell.

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Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 22/09/2025 00:07

Is anyone there ?

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Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 22/09/2025 00:20

Im so worried about this.

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SassyPearlEagle · 22/09/2025 01:08

Sorry I don't have any advice, but it sounds awful. What is the mum doing to discipline the kid? Anything at all? She sounds useless.
And where's his dad, is there any possibility he's witnessed abuse at home and is acting it out?

Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 22/09/2025 08:19

She is useless. Dad isn't very present. I cant believe my ex is encouraging this. I feel like this mother has gone behind my back tbh

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Original poster
GSDLoverInBlue · 22/09/2025 13:25

If she starts asking to take the kids out alone ( which she does) do i approach the safe guard lead at the school? How do I stop it ?

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