Do you imagine the germs when bleaching/toilet ducking the loo?

[TranceNation]

My toilet needs a good clean tonight. I’ve left the loo for a few days. Not quite trainspotting style worst toilet in Scotland but certainly long enough for an army of germs to probably think they've found a cushty nook.

Do you picture tiny germs screaming? Or do you just pour and scrub and get on with it?

Those germs are almost part of the family at this point so might go with toilet duck tonight. Dunno. I kinda feel it's nicer for them to smell nice whilst being zapped. Or should I just go full on no mercy bleach attack?

Yes, yes I do. It's from an old advert, isn't it? I like to murder them

I can't say I do, just whack the bleach on and in it. Though you can guarantee I'll get an itchy face every bloody time which makes me stop and wash my hands twice before itching.

No but I will from now on!!

Kills all known germs dead.

ka dunk.

I do ‘pew pew’ laser noises.*

*I don’t, but maybe I will do now…

Yep they do seem to like to give the germs a voice and personality and then zap them.

Sounds a good excuse to delegate the chore to someone else. Run with it 😁

I kinda think it's more germ screams for me.

Totally fine - I am more of a Flash Gordon when it comes to germ eradication. I would
rather they vaporise with - possibly - a tiny wail. But I don’t want screams in my cleaning regime - apart from my own of course… When will this relentless housekeeping torture enddddddd?!!!

Just googled a definition of wail

A prolonged high-pitched cry of pain, grief or anger.

But yep with you with the never ending housework. Three loads of washing today with bed linen, football kitm and school clothes.

Oh yes, but it’s not a scream. And it’s tiny too remember. Housework is the pits in all sizes, shapes and forms isn’t it? Should
be outlawed really…

It's always the laundry for me. Three washing loads and I still can't see the bottom of the linen baskets!

Ha ok, should I give the germs a pleasant toilet duck fragrance zapping or nuke the feckers with bleach? I'm trying to figure you out from your want of a wail.

Yes laundry is crap, but I think it’s anything involving scrubbing - anything! - that gets my back up. “Come off in one or don’t bother!” No one should be forced to scrub.

For all I know the wail is causing them more pain - maybe that’s why they can only wail. I thought it was more peaceful on both sides, but maybe that’s a halcyon dream. Maybe caustic screams is the fairer way - over more quickly?

Oh I can't be doing with scrubbing. Biggest offender is the oven but that's a blue job here. Too heavy work for little ol' me.

Wail to me implies wanting some sort of wanting of suffering on their part.

Just googled caustic screams and I'm still none the wiser what it means to be honest.

Scrubbing is the pits, on that we can agree.

I’m so uncertain now about the ‘pew pew’ and ‘mild’ wails - maybe I am just a monster who projected my method of attack in a way to make ME feel better? But also, with the caustic option, I wouldn’t want to be in the room for that. What’s the middle ground, some kind of telescopic bleaching tool? (Probably the same as the one the Kardashians used for their bottom topiary during COVID-19?) It’s a minefield!!!

There is no middle ground in my cupboard. Certainly no telescopic bleaching tool. It's either pine toilet duck or Tesco bleach for them. I feel toilet duck they would at smell nice as they are zapped. I reckon bleach is a horrible way for them to go, but saying that it's never stopped me zapping their germ siblings in previous bleach attacks up to now. Just feel there is a bigger germ community this time.

Can we possibly have some kind of a dialogue with the germ community and gain an understanding of the most humane way to wipe out their toilet sector? Totally understand that I am asking an oxymoronic question. Also I was totally the kid that ate dirt and scratched their hand on rust barbed wire and still went for a bike ride... germs were my friends then...

Now that I inhabit a home of my own... have I become a monster?!

Touch free fizzy foam from Must Have Ideas stops you going anywhere near the rancid bowl 😄

Will have to be a bloody quick dialogue with the germs. I'm just about to start locking up, switching the lights off, then it's time to aim the bottle under that toilet rim.

You're totally right. It is rancid. Think you've made my mind up. Bleach!