Doing all the running

[Yabayabadoo]

At want point do you say to yourself its better not to bother anymore?

Cryptic much? Context is important.

Running around taking care of my elderly dad, which I don’t mind but I am also the bridge between other family members who almost have the expectation that I am the one that should keep them in the loop. It is making me see them in a v light, they never make effort with me on a personal life unless I am calling them, asking how they are, their children or inviting them to my house I would probably never hear from them. My dad has some appts at hospital nx week but no help forthcoming so I have had to re jiggle my work days.

Ah, I see. I'm not surprised youre fed up.

My general answer is when you feel your efforts are not appreciated and or reciprocated.

You can't force people to have the relationship with you that you want. I'd match their energy and put less effort into my relationship with them. You've clearly got a lot on looking after your dad. If you need to update them about him, then one WhatsApp message to a family group and you're done.

And dont wait for others for help. Ask. "Dad has xyz on [date]. I'm not free, could one of you take him?" "I'm overwhelmed. Could you take responsibility for his online shopping / sorting out his house insurance."

I'm not saying it'll work but worth a try.

Sometimes when you’re the do-er or rescuer in a family it can be perceived as smothering. If you step back it leaves space for others to step up.

I think I will step back but part of my efforts are for the young cousins to get together as they’re all close, its not possible for them to meet independently due to their ages and distance. I have tried asking for help as theyre unwilling I have to step up