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Do you sometimes feel you don’t belong anywhere?

6 replies

PeanutPies · 20/09/2025 22:49

If you are an immigrant who have lived in this country for more than a decade or two do you sometimes or more increasingly in my case feel that you don’t ‘ belong’ anywhere? When in my acquaintance circles here I get seen as the outsider, not in any wrong sense of the word it’s more or your family are not here kind of way. I make effort to join cultural events from my country so that I keep in touch with my roots and of course to introduce my daughter to her cultural roots as well. However increasingly I have noticed I feel overwhelmed and over stimulated in these events- the conversations feel either superficial or stagnated and stale- it often boils down to people of similar age groups who have spent similar amounts of time here having the same issues- like the decision of to move back or not/ aging parents etc so it could be that the lethargy is setting in. I however feel stuck between two worlds with no real connections- I do love my own company maybe I have got used to it- however I never thought I will feel this way when it came to my natives. Anyone feel this way?

OP posts:
PeanutPies · 20/09/2025 22:59

Also I might be peri menopausal therefore not sure if that’s a contributing factor.

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PeanutPies · 21/09/2025 08:19

Bump

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MaybeIf · 21/09/2025 08:22

I lived in England from 1998 to 2019 and left because the microaggressions about my ethnicity went way up after Brexit and I didn’t want my child to deal with it. We moved home.

PeanutPies · 21/09/2025 08:43

@MaybeIf thats awful- I’m sorry you had to go through that. Although im not really experiencing the same- my post is more around I increasingly feel that I don’t belong in either of the worlds- feel lost. Apologies if my post came across as something else.

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MaybeIf · 21/09/2025 08:47

PeanutPies · 21/09/2025 08:43

@MaybeIf thats awful- I’m sorry you had to go through that. Although im not really experiencing the same- my post is more around I increasingly feel that I don’t belong in either of the worlds- feel lost. Apologies if my post came across as something else.

No, you didn’t. Yes, I think it’s common to people who live outside their home country to feel a bit ‘neither’. I suppose my question is whether you want to stay? You talk about your acquaintance circles looking on you as an outsider, but what about close friends?

PeanutPies · 21/09/2025 17:34

I want to stay until my daughter is older- then I would probably move back. Don't have nay close friends - only acquaintances. Tried to get there though, meet people, invite home for tea/meals, go out together - then it always fizzles out. When you meet fellow immigrants- the relationship is always transactional- I will help so you will help me out kind of deal- if the needs change then the so called 'friendship' wanes out too.

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