Perimenopause = can’t go near my husband!

[Pleasestopsayingmyname]

Ladies, has anyone else struggling with the depths of perimenopause struggled with a complete loss of libido? I’m 40, I’ve gone through the mill since we had our last child at 38 with sudden onset of horrific periods, mood issues, anxiety, depression, weight all over the place and generally feeling like an absolute monster. None of this I struggled with prior to childbirth or turning 40. But the hardest part, I absolutely cannot face sex. Or any form of intimacy with my husband, which is hugely affecting him. We had a healthy sex life until my symptoms developed, and now I’d be happy to never have sex again. I’m so irritated by everything and everyone, all the time, I can’t bear for anyone to touch me.

help. Is anyone else battling this? I’ve tried so hard to get my husband to understand but it’s almost impossible for him to understand that I never want to have sex.

I am with you, probably a bit milder than your situation.
Age 42 and had third child at 37

I have started taking Magnesium Glycinate (mainly for sleep issues) also Ashwaghanda supplements. These seem to have done something!! I was getting very irritated at any touch. Then feel extremely guilty for this. Whether is is placebo I don’t know. But I do feel more up for it. Then the more sex (or intimacy) you have the more you want.

Are you taking or have you considered HRT? I know it's not for everyone but with you starting peri quite young your symptoms may be severe. It would be worth speaking to your GP or a Meno specialist & considering Testosterone if libido is important to you. The hormones do calm down that irritated/rage feeling (somewhat!) too. Have you watched the Davina programmes on C4 about menopause?

So my GP is the menopause specialist and has put me on a pill called Zoely, which can be used as a contraceptive but she prescribed it for me as my estrogen levels were rock bottom- and it’s an estrogen based pill. I felt loads better for the first 6 months, but now the rage and irritability is getting two much. I have three children and have this daily internal battle trying to contain my rage. Then my husband tries to come near me and I just want to slap everyone 🙈

It sounds like you are really struggling with lots of issues and overwhelmed.

I would start by making an appointment to see a female GP. Take the list of issues and look at them together and try and break down whether you want things to help with each of these or to look at something overall (it may be they can do a bit of both). Start with the things that would make the biggest difference to you. When you get some of them lifted you will start to feel better.

That’s interesting, perhaps I’ll get some Ashwagandra and give that a go. I do take Magnesium Glycinate as it helps with insomnia I’ve also developed, and I take vit D. I’m also booked in for vit b12 injections as the fatigue is next level.

Thank you for your advice, so excited to hit full menopause 😭😭😭😭

Sorry just read your update, sounds like it's back to the GP!

Yes. I wanted to murder my DH for merely breathing and my libido just died. Literally disappeared and I could not have him near me. I was also raging, crying at random nonsense, had terrible insomnia, horrendous unpredictable periods, gained a stone purely around my middle and had zero patience for anything. Between the periods of rage I felt….flat and like nothing.
HRT sorted it all out and I am myself again.

@Pleasestopsayingmyname I am no way ready for menopause. Feel far too young. Plus my DH is only 34 poor man 😆
I have had the mirena coil for 5 plus years. And it can be used as HRT but can only be in for 5 yrs for that. Apparently now it can be in for 7 yrs for contraception. But hrt, only 5 yrs

Sounds like me. I've got a coil and been on hrt gel for a while and am waiting to see a specialist about getting testosterone apparently that helps

@mysparkleismissing The Ashwaghanda supplements work by doing something to the testosterone in your body. Well supposedly do! So maybe there is something in it.

Its awful feeling like that.

This is literally me! I do wonder if I try HRT but as I still get periods I don’t know if they would let me. I need something, I’m full of rage and nothing else!!!