Why don't fucking hoovers ever work for me?

[Liesmorelies]

I'm 50 and have never had a hoover that worked well and mostly haven't used one. House is mainly wooden floors and rugs downstairs and have mainly used brushes interspersed with the odd hoover that works for a while. So I spent some money on a Bosch in the summer and was so excited to be hoovering like a grown-up. And now it has stopped working - just main bit that you push along the floor. The bit you detach to use as a hand-held thing is fine but not the bottom bit. I've looked and there's nothing stuck and it's making a weird noise too, like something is caught in it but I've turned the rollers and nothing. I'm so pissed off. It's still under warranty but I don't want to be arsing around - I just want to fucking hoover.

Have you cleaned the filters? Have a look at the manual or YouTube, take it all apart and give it a good clean. You'll probably find whatever's making the noise and clean filters make all the difference to performance, IME

During the past 25+yrs we have had just two vacuum cleaners, both Dyson (corded) and they have been excellent.

Moved across to Dyson as we had long haired cats and the Vax we previously had was no good at picking up fur.
Apart from cleaning the filters etc, neither has given any real problems and if anything needed replacing (tools, hose etc) spares are widely available.
Things that we liked at the beginning were the long hoses & mains leads but over time we have been super impressed with build quality & usability.

A close second is the Karcher wet/dry vacuum that my OH has just bought to replace his old garage vac.
Big & bulky but it has great suction and the filter cleaning feature is great.

Yeah I bought a Bosch recently and it packed up within days.

Dyson and Henry have both done me proud.

It’s because you haven’t bought a Henry

I used to be constantly buying new hoovers and then I bought Henry. Problem solved. He’s a bit annoying at times with getting caught on stuff but he’s still picking up dog hair brilliantly 6 years on.

Ahem...so closer inspection revealed a pair of nail scissors caught in it. I think it's ok now. But I really don't think I'll ever be arsed with cleaning filters and taking it all apart all the time. Where even are they? I may well end up back with a sweeping brush yet.

We've had a Miele for over 10 years - still works as well as when new.

Make sure that the bags are changed when full and, as PP said, change the filters periodically. Bagless is a gimmick and a backwards step imho.

My upright shark is good. I opted for the plugged in version though because every single battery one I've had, Dyson or shark have been awful.

I don't think I could use a Henry, if looks really harsh on the back to keep shunting it forward and backward.

Well it is bagless. I have a feeling that when I say previous ones broke I mean the bag needed changing for the second or third time and I couldn't face it. I don't think I'm cut out for hoovering... And what are all those little bits that I have a collection of and don't know which appliance they came with? I would go for a simple Henry but they give me flashbacks to a horrible student let I lived in and was bullied.

We’ve had a Miele cat and dog for probably 20 years. Never had a problem with it. DDs have it now and now we have a bagless Miele again, no problems. The only irritation is having to remove long hair from round the brush. They are both cylinders, I wouldn’t have an upright, too heavy to haul around.

Get a hetty!

https://www.myhenry.com/hetty-compact-het160

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

Our Hetty has been hands down the best hoover we’ve ever had

I hear you! I’ve got three Dyson’s, two little un named hoovers and a Henry (some inherited) and all of them block/break regularly. Henry is probably the best but heavy to carry up and down the stairs, plus his nose pulls off regularly.

Henry's a good 'un. I usually end up with a cheapy bagless hoover because it's all I can afford, but I'd invest in a Henry if it was up to me.

I've got a Morphy Richards at the moment and have to take the ruddy thing to pieces to properly empty it. I'd be better off with a bag.

Had a shark, Bosch and others - all kept breaking

then i bought the green Henry - all sorted. No issues whatsoever for years. Wouldn’t go back.

If you don’t do a bit of hoover maintenance like changing bags if they have, or changing the filter once in a while, unclogging the roller etc - the manual will tell you what you need to do, the hoover will lose suction power.

It’s a trade off, hoover maintenance or brush.

100% this.

Lucky for me I love cleaning out the hoover! if you don’t then definitely you will find a dustpan and brush a lot more effective

You really do need to do this.