DS is year 10, he was diagnosed as autistic at 7 and due to extensive, violent dysregulation at mainstream school, has been at a specialist school ever since. It’s been great for allowing him to succeed going somewhere consistently, make friends and get an adequate education (as academia is not the strong point of the school) but he still has a fair few days of dysregulation usually verbally rather than physically as a result of change, disagreement, expectations unmet etc. he needs a lot of support to deescalate this. In a mainstream school, he’d be excluded.
His IQ is extremely gifted (according to Ed psych) and in theory is extremely capable academically but in reality he’s not that interested in most things. He’s supposed to be doing 7 GCSEs through his school but it’s unclear if he’ll manage to sit any as he is not that engaged in doing the level of work needed. At times he’s really invested and works hard, then it peters off again. He has few actual interests although many things he’s good at subject wise.
We have to start making decisions for when he leaves next year for what get named on his EHCP. Mainstream college is big, bustling, city campus. A levels are likely to be a huge step up learning from what he’s used to and he can’t really pick any as he’s not that interested. I think he’ll really struggle but everyone thinks I’m being defeatist by saying it. If he dysregulated there, it will devastate him. The environment is everything that makes him explode.
joining a local schools established sixth form seems risky and likely minimum support and same issues.
SEN post 16 is all independent living, quite high needs or courses like animal care, hospitality etc that he’s not in any way interested in.
he’ll NEVER engage will online a levels while we’re at work and his small world will become minute.
I just feel like he’s going to fall into a black hole where nothing suits or fits. He doesn’t know what he wants to do and gets upset or angry when anyone talks about it. I feel like I don’t know how to help and whatever happens, it'll be wrong.
I'm not looking for an answer of what to do, more aaaahhhh, why is parenting so difficult.