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End of life care-how long and what can I expect?

54 replies

Totallybannanas · 19/09/2025 17:25

My df has stage 4 oesophagus cancer. The last week he has declined massively. His bowels were impacted and he was vomiting faeces and then he had fever, I encouraged him to take laxido and then he managed to pass a stool and perked up. They did query sepsis but this was ruled out by the doctor. He was brighter the next day, but never recovered and was agitated the following day. He hasn't eaten since Monday, taking small amount of fluid but still passing urine. His mouth has been very dry. They have increased his medication and have withdrawn normal medication. They did wonder if the pain he was having was his liver. His eyes are sunken, and I swear they have a yellow tinge but they seem very unfocused. His hands and feet still feel warm and amazingly they found him walking down the corridor earlier! I can hear secretions on his chest now and then, and him trying to clear his throat. They said he is very strong, probably because he has always been active. I haven't been to work the last few days, as it's been so distressing and I'm mentally exhausted. And I don't know if I can face it next week. He is currently in a nursing home, and they are doing hourly checks but unable to sit with him. I've had a lot of time off all ready as was caring for him before he went into the home. Would you take time off now? I work term time so taking leave isn't an option.

OP posts:
Totallybannanas · 04/10/2025 00:39

DaysofHoney · 02/10/2025 19:05

How are you @Totallybannanas - I hope everything has been peaceful for you and your dad.

Hi Days, Dad sadly passed away the next day. I was with him until the end which is of some comfort. I do miss him though 😔

OP posts:
TheMerryWidow1 · 04/10/2025 06:30

So very sorry xxxx

MrsLizzieDarcy · 04/10/2025 19:12

So very sorry for your loss. Look after yourself, it's a long slow journey is grief. And quite a cruel one at times.

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DaysofHoney · 12/10/2025 16:24

@Totallybannanas so very sorry. Take your time with the grief journey, feel all the feelings. Sending strength to you.

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