Feel like I have some sort of mental disability!

[Benny91]

I feel like I have some sort of undiagnosed mental disability as I’m 33 now and throughout my childhood I was put into SEND classes and also towards the last couple of years at secondary school I was put into ‘Life Skills’ classes, my divorced parents really didn’t get me diagnosed at all and also I think they didn’t care at all.

Also throughout my adult life I’ve felt like I’m not intelligent as others and felt not as normal as other people. I think it’s either a minor learning disability or autism, but I don’t know what until I get diagnosed and with the NHS the way it is I feel it maybe some years away until I do, as I haven’t got the money to get it done privately.

Also to add input I’m a Bus driver as a job and find driving easy (as do most people) and only passed with 1 minor in my practical test.

I don’t know what’s wrong with me and feel not quite right, I sometimes forgot what words to say at times and when someone says a big word I’ve not heard of before I get all confused and wonder what that word actually means!

Is their anyone on here who has these difficulties or their children has it?

Dunno about the rest of it but loads of people don't find driving easy, so you've clearly got great skills in some areas.

Bump

I think you should go to your GP & explain your history and ask for them to assses for you for a learning disability along with neurodivergence. It won’t hurt, and at least you will have an answer instead of wondering.
That said driving is hard, especially a bus! You clearly have good skills in some areas of your life so don’t beat yourself up. :)

OP, I have a PhD but I can’t drive. It’s not really a choice, as I did try but could never get the hang of it. I know a lot of things but I have very few skills. I really struggle to acquire them. Different people are good at different things.

My PhD is in the field of language learning. Knowing ‘big words’ is absolutely nothing at all to do with intelligence whatsoever. It just means that you have been exposed to those words in your life. Perhaps through having had a family with a wide vocabulary or having watched particular tv programmes or having read a lot. Perhaps you are dyslexic and therefore struggled to read easily and develop your vocabulary. But none of that has anything to do with intelligence.

It’s possible you may have a learning difficulty. This could have made it harder to succeed at things that teachers value. But succeeding in life involves a huge variety of other intelligences and skills. As you go through life you can develop these and appreciate what you are capable of.

Do you think you may have undiagnosed Dyslexia? It can affect processing speed and word recall. People with dyslexia are often very intelligent and are great at problem solving and creative thinking but if not supported might struggle academically. Maybe you could try a dyslexia assessment as a starting point.

I would never, ever be able to be a bus driver, omg. No way.

I have a normal car license but it's not everyone that could drive a bus.

Don't sell yourself short

Maybe start reading more? Improve your vocabulary?

Your written English is certainly good -

Children tend to end up in lower sets when they have:
Poor working memory
Poor long term memory
Slower processing speeds
Issues with executive function meaning they need clearer direction
Specific learning difficulties or diagnosed conditions - this isn't always appropriate for the child
Behavioural difficulties - shouldn't happen but challenging children are often moved down sets irrespective of their ability.

These issues don't all necessarily occur together. You can have people with phenomenal long term memory but their working memory is poor.

It might help for you to look at the above and identify the challenges you have. You can then look at techniques or strategies to help support you in those areas.

Your written English is good and you have great practical skills. I could never, ever drive a bus. I have a first class degree and am a terribly anxious driver. So don't talk yourself down....not everyone could do what you do.

Well your post has better spelling, vocabulary and grammar than a lot of people on MN so I would hazard a guess that perhaps it is an ND issue rather than any actual learning disability.

Current waiting NHS waiting times for ASD diagnosis is 4 years in my area.
Certainly worth speaking to your GP as a starting point though.

You can drive a bus.
Judge gaps, spaces,heights, so have fantastic spatial awareness.
Ensure the safety of a multitude of people every single day.
You've memorised multiple routes.
You've memorised multiple ticket pricing options.
You multitask every day in your role.
You are a key worker. The world wouldn't work without careers such as yours.
Do not do yourself down.
Speak to your GP about ND.

Crikey bus driver is a multi skilled job! I couldn't do it. Could you reframe your thoughts here, did you have a rough start in life and have had confidence suffer ?