Downtime- how much do you get?

[CosmopolitanCocktail]

I work full time- professional job and well paid so can’t complain in that regard.

My weekday routine is the same:
Up at 630am
Out of door with kids at 730am
Back to back day and eat lunch whilst working at my desk
Back through door at 630pm, sometimes do school pick up
Dinner- cooked, eaten, cleared up by 730pm
Then a variety of helping with homework, admin tasks, laundry, catching up on own work, packed lunches, bins, I could go on (yes husband does pull his weight)
Usually done by 10pm (now)
Might get 30mins to myself before bed

and tomorrow repeat!
seems relentless…..

this is normal right- 30mins to myself seems a bit shit?

I'm a single parent. I have two in late teens and three under 5. I get an hour to myself when the little ones nap in the afternoon. It's blissful. I live for that hour some days

For me what secured me some downtime is WFH so no commute. Means I can normally squeeze in a gym session/run.

I also dropped work to 4 days a week. Sometimes my day off is consumed with admin / or childcare during school holidays. But I try to do something for myself on my day off each week (normally sports related)

DH and I each have one “session” to ourselves each weekend, eg a morning or afternoon.

So I don’t do to badly.

We have one child, age 7. DH works long hours. We have no “help” eg no cleaner / gardener etc.

I get a lots now but when my children were younger I used to have to go out to have time to myself which was nice but what I really wanted was to lie on the sofa and have a nap! I did get to do that sometimes if dh took them out somewhere without me but it was what I craved most.
i do a mix of wfh and a few office days. Office days im usually home by just after 5, dh cooks so as soon as i get in I’ll spend half an hour doing things like laundry, running the hoover round, having a general tidy then the rest of the evening is relaxing unless im going out (usually for exercise).

I've gone part-time and WFH which is the only way I get downtime. DC are early teens to adults with 3 at home. I was working full-time. I also volunteer a significant amount of my time (between 5-10 hours per week), have a side hustle connected to this and my DC play sport to a really high level. It was relentless and generally very unpleasant - not helped by the fact that my job was very emotionally difficult. My hair started falling out with stress, my diet was awful and I lost any sense of myself.

Since going PT, I now have time in the day to sort the house, go to the gym, cook etc. I'm still out every evening but it's manageable now and my hair is growing back. Just glad that I have been able to do this.

Two kids under 6 work full time. DH full time too. I get about an hour a day 8.30-9.30 ish

Am in awe at how much energy you all seem to have.
I'm shattered and I have a lot more downtime, finishing work usually at 4 pm.

Your schedule does sound intense. Even without children, it is difficult to have much downtime if you are out of the house for 11 hours per day, and do some extra work in the evening.

Normally I work from home but it seems that you don't. When I commute into the office it's a mixture of walking and a train ride, so is somewhat relaxing/downtime in my eyes. But mostly I don't get much downtime during the week, or if I do it's because I let things slide that I probably should get on with.

On the weekend I try to make sure I have some downtime, especially 1 day that doesn't feel busy. I've also only signed my child up for activities that I don't mind attending.

And I have found someone to do some jobs that normal cleaners might not, dishes, laundry, etc. That helps too.

Usually about an hour after the kids are in bed and the jobs are done.

Oh and I also get downtime while DC at her clubs, eg I go for a run while she’s at gymnastics for an hour

I have from 9pm (when my youngest, who is autistic finally crashes) until I go to bed, which is usually about 10pm as we’re up multiple times in the night then up for the day at 6am.

Same as many others. I do WFH which helps, I work 7am - 5pm 4 days a week then dinner and bed time routine etc. I get from 8.30-10ish and I'm usually too knackered to do anything. This is also when I do admin for a charity I help with.
Fridays I have my toddler, my DH also works Saturdays which I find really hard as I'm completely done by Sunday. We try to both fit in some running but it's very hard and often gets pushed.
I don't know what I used to do before kids!

So today for example, i got up at 6.30 and sorted out lunches for DC, clothes for school/pe, cooking ingredients for DC and then out of the door before 8 to start job at 8.15. Don't sit down all day, no breaks (unless you count fire alarm drill) and no lunch as usually someone relying on something for the afternoon, was late leaving at 4.30 (it's not even a well paid job!) dashed home, made dinner for DC and then out of the door at 5.30 to take them to shared hobby. Finished that at 7, then took one to second hobby at 7.15, did a bread/milk run on way home. Washed up lunch boxes, coffee mugs for next day and put things in dishwasher. Sat for 15 mins with other DC watching bakeoff and having a chat about their day, then went to pick up other DC for 9. Got home, put rubbish out, had quick chat about what DC needed for tomorrow, then they went to bed. I have ironed shirts for tomorrow and sent/answered mundane emails from school/clubs/household needs and then eventually at about 10 sat down vegging infront of the tv, no doubt I will fall sleep whilst here and wake up a couple of hours later and remember to go to bed. Rinse and repeat every weekday. Weekends have dcs hobbies and then the demands of housework, food shop, gardening, house maintenance, wider family commitments which can be downtime depending on if I am hosting or not.
Sadly I don't think that my day is unusual for a lot of mums and when I do get downtime (perhaps due to my age) I have run out of energy to do any self care!!!

Out of the 6.30 am back 7.45pm 4 days a week so after shower and dinner around 1hr till i collapse to sleep at 10pm

3 under 4. They all nap and bedtime ranges between 5p and 8p. I'm so happy when they're in bed early.

It varies depending on the day for us and what we’ve got on, but with a husband that pulls his weight how are you both doing chores etc til 10pm?
perhaps you have particularly high standards, I’d rather have chill time every evening than have a spotless house for example.

Should add single parent

I get a lot, but i don't have children. I work full time (ish)

Up at 6.40am and in the office for 9am.
Leave the office at 2pm, get home around 2.40pm
Walk the dogs
Then I have the rest of the doing bits and bobs

So sad to read how busy our lives are :(
No wonder we are stressed!
Even the weekends have hardly any down time by the time Ive done chores, run errands, cooked, baked, house jobs DIY, shopping etc!!

I work full time, have no ‘village’ and my daugher goes to bed at 9pm. I get about an hour in the evening if I can stay awake. Saying this, this is taken up by making packed lunches, ironing, housework etc. Weekends worse due to later bedtime.

Crawling into bed now- no break since 630am. Glad to see I’m not alone.

Loads as I’m retired but back in the day in the thick of children it was like this for many years.

Out the door at 7.30, arrive at work at 8.00, DH sorted out children in the morning and they had a mix of school dinners and packed lunches which I made while cooking dinner. Pick them up from after school club at 17.30. Dinner and homework all done for 19.00. Some Tv, games and socialising, plus clearing up kitchen.They went to bed at 20.30. Watch tv and not move after around 21.00. DH and I chatted, bed around 23.00. I had a cleaner for most of my working life even as a 21 year old.

I get a couple of hours a day while my youngest is in preschool (she does 4 hours a day and I spend a couple of hours doing chores and errands). I also get some time in the evening, depending on when the dcs get to sleep/when chores are finished/when I go to sleep. Each day I'm ferrying to extracurriculars for one child or another (some of them still need the parent to participate, or I need to entertain the other child while waiting), so not downtime. I often stay up late just to get stuff done! But weekends are leisure time with family (it's not downtime as we always have young dcs with us, but it's fun activities not laundry and grocery shopping), we don't have much to do at home as I get it done during the week. I don't work and am looking forward to more downtime when the preschooler is in for full days!