Beyond counselling for grief?

[Comingouttheotherside]

almost a year since DH passed away.

couldn’t face counselling, the thought of tears and dragging it all up with some stranger.

have finally stopped crying every bloody day in the past four weeks but still have my moments

friends are quite insistent I should go. I can’t think of anything worse but also don’t like my black moments but they are lessening.

I’m sure your friends are trying to be supportive but counselling isn’t for everyone and even if it were something you’d consider, it might not be the right time. My husband has anxiety and loves talking to his counsellor as he finds it helpful. When my dad died I didn’t speak to anyone about it. You need to do what’s best for you

Hi I'm so sorry about your DH.
Recognising the black moments are lessening is, how can I put it, a way of showing yourself you are there for yourself in your grief journey.
They're scary and sad, angry and bleak as f.
If you are moving through this, and not wishing to go to any counselling then I think, right now you do what you are doing.

It's not the same but my mum died unexpectedly 2 years ago, and at times I did think should I try bereavement counselling.

I've had some normal counselling and it's been ok, touching on this pain.
Many people have said bereavement counselling could be good, but on my journey I'm not wanting to.

It's enough for now.

Maybe things are enough for you right now too?

Hugs to you x

My DH died last December. Grief counselling is not for me. I just couldn’t face sitting and talking about it all. Instead, I’m taking one day at a time. I’m not thinking about the future or even about tomorrow. I’ve also built some routine into my day, to help me get through.

I’m so sorry for your loss @Comingouttheotherside but I have to agree that counselling isn’t for everyone. 💐

I write this so often; there is no right or wrong way to do grief, whatever gets you through to the other side is the right thing to do. Ignore all advice, including mine and do what feels right for you. Sometimes you need to say yes when people ask about counselling just to shut people up… but at the end of the day, you do you.

@Comingouttheotherside if you are at a point where you are not crying, then that is an amazing point of progress, you never forget but you do get more skilled at coping.

Thank you all. It’s good to hear different views on it.

I’m not ruling it out but I’ll just take it one day at a time.

I tried counselling after my baby was stillborn but it just made me feel worse and I just couldn't engage with it. But when my Dad died, I was pointed towards counselling by the hospice he was in and I don't know how I'd have got through it without that lovely lady that I saw. It really helped, I had 10 sessions.

The only way I can explain it was that it was a safe space to say what was inside my head without worrying a loved one if that makes sense. The depth of my grief really did take me by complete surprise.