Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Bumping into ex after 15 yrs

1 reply

Suzi9989I · 14/09/2025 15:12

Was with my ex for 8 yrs, never married. Marriage/ proposal was used as a controlling tool by him, almost like if I went along with what made him happy, I would get the proposal. I will get to be happy etc.... Abused emotionally, he had a huge drinking problem. I didn't see issues at the time but slowly, drifted from my friends and family. Deep down I knew I wasn't happy ended the relationship, moved back in with my parents. Found a new job and found a new circle of friends. Ex stalked me and ended up reporting him to the police- he was also making suicidal threat. All narcissistic behaviour....

Fast forward- 15 years on. I am happy, married to a wonderful man, 2DCs. Mentally strong, I had some counselling around 10yrs ago due to work and dealing with grief, I felt somehow I wasn't good enough for anything. Counselling helped, leant alot about my triggers and how my childhood and being with ex had an impact on me.

Bumping into ex has stirred something. I looked straight at him, straight through him. I did not acknowledge him, my face was blank. He held eye contact with me, almost like I know it's YOU.
I was with DH, I don't think I would've had a conversation if I wasn't.

I feel bothered by it, perhaps this man gave me such hell when I was young, he didn't win and no longer have hold over me!

Has anyone experienced anything similar?

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 14/09/2025 21:16

I’m so impressed you managed to find a healthy happy marriage after this and I’m jealous! Well done!
of course you’ll feel spooked after you see someone who totally traumatized you

New posts on this thread. Refresh page