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Original poster

Cancelling Christmas Forever

64 replies

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 14/09/2025 11:15

Has anybody done this?

(Not meaning people from religions or cultures who don’t do christmas anyway.)

I am single, no close family but have some good friends.

I find christmas expensive and depressing and I am pondering telling anyone who needs to know that I am opting out altogether from now on so won’t be sending (or wanting to receive) cards, messages or presents and just generally will exist outside of the whole blimmin thing.

I don’t want upset my older friends and acquaintances though who are rather more traditional.

OP posts:
BluePeril · 14/09/2025 11:20

I think you’ve been going to a lot of unnecessary trouble if you’ve been dashing around sending cards and expensive presents to a lot of people. Hardly anyone sends cards any more, and the only presents I’ve ever bought are for DS and DH. I really enjoy Christmas, but in terms of expense, it’s really just some extra food, hosting family for Christmas dinner, and a couple of presents.

ThreePears · 14/09/2025 11:25

I think it would be fine for you to tell everyone that you are stepping back from all the Christmas razzamatazz, you have decided you will not be sending cards and presents any longer, and there is no need for them to send you anything either.

mumonthehill · 14/09/2025 11:25

I would not make a big song and dance about it. Many people no longer send cards but I appreciate those that still do but feel no need to send back. If you have got into a pattern of lots of gift giving just do family gift so box of chocolates and then reduce those. It is ok to say I am not doing gifts this year etc. you can easily decline Christmas invites. I would not say that you are never doing it again but just start with scaling back this year.

Interested in this thread?

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Events & celebrations
AnnaMagnani · 14/09/2025 11:25

Don't make an announcement, just rein it back this year.

Your friends probably think the person who loves Christmas is you given how many cards and presents you send. Nobody sends that many cards any more.

TheTecknician · 14/09/2025 11:27

I stopped partaking (I won't say celebrating) in Christmas more than thirty years ago after one disappointment too many. I've never looked back so I'd say that's as good as cancelled. No denying its existence and a source of joy for many though.

SlimeSuspect · 14/09/2025 11:32

I’d love to do this…I have ADHD and get completely overwhelmed with all the extra admin/posting cards on time etc. I live alone and haven’t bothered putting up a tree for two years. It just feels like extra housework to get everything out of boxes and then put it back again. I’d achieve more peace of mind by just cleaning the floors or putting washing away! I have three nieces and make an effort for them if nothing else, plus they’re really cute and I really enjoy how much they love it.

I’m self employed in an industry that is busy during the Xmas period, so I make as much money as I can during that time. If well paid work comes in for Xmas day then I’ll see if I can squeeze it in around seeing family.

I don’t feel miserable or Scrooge-ey about it or resent other people enjoying festive stuff. I just don’t get the fuss. I feel the same about weddings; lots of unnecessary and expensive stress, yet I love the concept of marriage.

ItsAllDifferent · 14/09/2025 11:32

We have cut right back. It's much more relaxing without all the craziness. It was my teen DS who initiated the plan, so I don't think it's even the absence of kids. I think it's just much more peaceful without.

Mikart · 14/09/2025 11:45

I dont buy gifts for anyone except dh and adult dd. I don't cook Xmas dinner or buy traditional food. I dont send cards or decorate the house.
It is just the 2 of us for Xmas day and this year we are going to a remote cottage.
But we have a great time in December seeing friends and eating and drinking food we actually like. We have a great time all year not just one day a year.

MorningLarkEchoes · 14/09/2025 11:51

I’m going to try and cut it back a lot this year. We are on an ok income but the cost of living and increasing taxes has hit us quite significantly. We can’t afford to go on holiday abroad for example, and I’m in a qualified profession. We are coming to the end of our fixed rate on our mortgage soon so are facing higher mortgage payments in the new year as well. I feel a lot of pressure at Christmas. We’ve tried to warn the children throughout the year that we wont be spending so much this year. It’s not just the cost, it’s the time and effort that goes into it. Plus, things are pretty rubbish in the UK at the moment and quite frankly, I don’t feel like there’s anything to celebrate.

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 14/09/2025 11:58

Forever is a long time. Why not just start with this year?

MoominMai · 14/09/2025 12:01

Mikart · 14/09/2025 11:45

I dont buy gifts for anyone except dh and adult dd. I don't cook Xmas dinner or buy traditional food. I dont send cards or decorate the house.
It is just the 2 of us for Xmas day and this year we are going to a remote cottage.
But we have a great time in December seeing friends and eating and drinking food we actually like. We have a great time all year not just one day a year.

When I had a partner this is exactly how I was as well. I’m not religious, no close family. Didn’t decorate the house and my ex and me would go to a cottage somewhere remote in that dead zone between Xmas day and NYD.

He had family who would invite us to their lovely Xmas day buffet so I’d take over a few thank you gifts of wine and chocolates and that was pretty much the Xmas bit done!

winterborn · 14/09/2025 12:03

Ive never been a fan of christmas even as a child it felt like forced fun dont even like xmass films or music.
Ive not done christmas in years best thing ever.
I stopped it when christmas stopped being christmas we use to have 2 months of it now its like 6.

Who got more gifts who spent the most people trying to out do the next.
Excuse to drink till your blind family dramas ungrateful people.
Getting gifts for folk we dont talk to throughout the year.
The cooking tbh its just a sunday dinner with a pile of veg etc etc i mean is it worth all the drama.

I have no decs no gifts no tree no slaving in the kitchen no dramas.
I have a good early spring clean on christmas day or christmas eve.
Then i spend it doing what i like.
Some chilled music playing go for a walk do some meditating maybe some knitting, yoga reading.
Binge out on some films on westream.
Just a calm chilled Peaceful few day.

Womblingmerrily · 14/09/2025 12:08

Life without celebration is dull and monotonous.

Winter festivals like Christmas are there to give a bit of a lift in the dark and cold.

Could you not just strip it back to the things you enjoy - is there anything?

Do you like visiting people/ putting up lights/ special food?

I think many people would enjoy a simpler Christmas, just taking basic food gifts to share with loved ones and watch a film together instead of the 'full on' Christmas with lots of added rubbish.

Lottapianos · 14/09/2025 12:08

I can't be doing with it either OP. It's ridiculously over hyped every single year and the hype starts way too early. I buy gifts for my niece and nephew but that's it

I think your plan is totally reasonable. Give the heads up to anyone who who might be planning to buy a present for you and politely decline any Christmas party invitations that you don't fancy, and other than that, crack on

PestoHoliday · 14/09/2025 12:08

It can be as large or as insignificant as you want. You don't have to fit in with the expectations of others, OP.

If you usually exchange presents and don't want to anymore, now is a good time to raise that with them. The proportion of people who start Christmas shopping in September is pretty small so they are relatively unlikely to have bought gifts already.

My stupid BIL told DH a couple of years ago he didn't want to exchange gifts anymore - on December 18th. Obviously everything for their family was already bought and wrapped. That was a dick move.

Comedycook · 14/09/2025 12:10

I absolutely loathe Christmas....I do it because of my DC. Honestly though if I was childfree I'd ignore the entire thing and head off to a warm country to sit on the beach instead. Go for it op!

JustStopItNorasaurus · 14/09/2025 12:10

I think saying you are stepping back is a good one. If i had the nerve I'd say the same (still caught up with some obligation stuff).

But to answer your question rather more literally - when I was around 15 my father got heartily sick of the very intense and toxic extended family dynamics around Christmas on both sides of the family and after yet another disastrous event which as always ended up in tears and game playing he said he had had enough and was never celebrating Christmas again.

And he didn't. And still doesn't. My mother and my sister and i hung on for a couple more years with her side of the family (the main culprits) and then my sister and I got sick of it too. My mother finally boycotted Christmas with her family a few years later. It was all a bit dramatic (and we could have done a quiet thing just the four of us) but it was all very scorched earth.

I didn't celebrate Christmas until I met DH when I was 30-odd. My parents still don't celebrate Christmas at all, 37 years later They are totally fine with that and everyone around them knows they don't. No fuss about it. I think the first few years they told people they had had enough of it all. No real pushback as far as i can recall. It's our normal now I think.

But like I said, it was a bit of a dramatic response!

Rorys · 14/09/2025 12:12

Just say you’re not doing cards and gifts this year. There’s no need to ‘cancel’ the whole thing. Just take the elements you like and find some joy in those and leave the rest

ladybirdsanchez · 14/09/2025 12:14

I'd love to not do Christmas, but can't for similar reasons as you OP. One of my siblings has successfully opted out of it and neither gives nor receives, but he's single and child-free and he has the rest of us to carry the can!

As for me, I've minimised it as much as I feel I can, for now. We visit family the weekend before (we live quite far away), but we never go there for Christmas and they don't come to us (pets). I send cards to older family members and DF, other siblings and I have agreed small presents only, so that's good and keeps the cost down for everyone.

DH and I 'do' Christmas for our kids - tree, stockings, presents, Christmas dinner. But if it was just me and DH we'd fly out the weekend before and go somewhere that doesn't celebrate Christmas, somewhere sunny, where we could forget all about it! One day ... maybe!

ShiftingSand · 14/09/2025 12:16

Last year I hosted a small gathering for my grandson’s first birthday which is a few days before Xmas. I let my adult children know that I didn’t want to then host again on Xmas day as I needed a break from it after doing so for thirty odd years. They accepted this and I spent a lovely day on my own plus dogs doing exactly what I wanted. Hoping to rinse and repeat. Do what you want and you might be surprised how accepting your friends and relatives are (after a bit of questioning and pushback)😊

JurgenKloppsTeeth · 14/09/2025 12:17

I had had enough of it a couple of years ago and spent the day alone, then went for a walk with a friend on Boxing Day. It was a much-needed reset and last year I actually quite enjoyed it.

But I hate how it is rammed down our throats from August onwards. For me it should be a day of good company and good food, sparkly lights and mulled wine, getting out for a long walk, perhaps a drink at the pub. I have no time at all for Christmas TV, Christmas pop music (same old shit every bloody year!), the level of stress people put themselves through.

mondaytosunday · 14/09/2025 12:19

Many of my friends have quietly opted out of sending cards. No announcement. And I only give presents to immediate family. If there are people you exchange gifts with then it’s only right to tell them you are cutting back. But other wise you don’t need to say anything surely?

Dontlletmedownbruce · 14/09/2025 12:24

Take a year off OP, don't commit to forever! I get you, I felt a clench in my stomach when I saw your title because it reminded me of the 8 week hype on the way. I feel robbed of November every year, a quiet winter month would be nice. For me it's the shops and lights and chaos and traffic that is too much. I have kids and a DH who loves it so I have no choice but i look forward to the day I can control it and do what I want. I try to minimise stress by avoiding live TV, radio and constant runs to the shops, I schedule one shopping day and do it all and try to enjoy it in the moment.

I think maybe a heads up to those close to you that you are cutting back a bit and don't want cards or presents this year. Then next year you can rethink it all.

Goldbar · 14/09/2025 12:43

Do what brings you joy.

Maybe take some time out, grab a coffee in a cafe and make a list of the things you do over the Christmas period which bring you joy. And focus on those.

I'm not fond of all the present and other fuss over Christmas, although I do it because I have young children. But there are parts of Christmas I remember quietly enjoying before it turned into a full-on workstream - the carols, the nice food, an excuse for a catch-up with friends, warm evenings watching TV in the house with nice hot chocolate.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 14/09/2025 12:48

Mrsmunchofmunchington · 14/09/2025 11:15

Has anybody done this?

(Not meaning people from religions or cultures who don’t do christmas anyway.)

I am single, no close family but have some good friends.

I find christmas expensive and depressing and I am pondering telling anyone who needs to know that I am opting out altogether from now on so won’t be sending (or wanting to receive) cards, messages or presents and just generally will exist outside of the whole blimmin thing.

I don’t want upset my older friends and acquaintances though who are rather more traditional.

I don't think most people spend much on friends at Christmas do they? None of my friends and I do cards or presents for each other. We'll probably meet up for a drink before Christmas, but we do every month, and the only difference with "Christmas" drinks is it's December and there's bloody tinsel everywhere. Other than that it's just a WhatsApp message on the day.

So I think you're fine to say "not doing cards or presents this year, please don't get me anything"