Right going to start by saying I am autistic.
As a family we’ve had alot of stress the last couple of months, I won’t go into it all but my side of the family is very dysfunctional and just brings alot of drama and stress that I can’t help but consume and it makes me ill. My anxiety is through the fucking roof, I’m shaking constantly, thoughts are looping over and over and my ocd is back with a vengeance. I really really struggle with change.
So, my dsd is 17, has a bf the same age. Doesn’t get on with her mum but has never wanted to move in with us due to the distance we live from her mum and wanting to stay with her friends and bf. We still see her regularly and have a good relationship. The latest between her and her mum is her mum lying on her pip forms to get her the high rate payments by making her seem more disabled than she is (she has adhd) this shouldn’t bother me directly but it does as Dsd is showing us texts between her and her mum arguing about this, her mum has put herself as Dsd appointee but Dsd doesn’t want this. So she has called Dwp and stated this and wrote them a letter saying her mum wouldn’t spend the money in her best interests (she wouldn’t) dsd isn’t innocent in all of this as she also believes she should get the high rate just because she has a diagnosis, but dsd is a child and doesn’t understand it doesn’t work like that. Now dwp are going to do a full assessment because they’ve clocked on something isn’t right and her mum is blaming dsd saying she’ll get nothing now.
It’s all really stressing me out. Dsd hasn’t lived with her mum properly for years. She has been staying at her cousins and friends and occasionally ours. We’re paying child maintenance and now paying board to her bfs mom, which we can’t afford but doing it as it’s only right because her mum won’t pay anything. My worry is dsd has been told If she doesn’t get this pip she needs to get a full time job and pay her way at mums otherwise she’s not welcome at her mums. We’ve told dsd she can just move in with us. She doesn’t want this, so I’m thinking the worst worrying that she won’t get this pip, or a job and we’ll be stuck paying 150 a month to her bfs mum!!
I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay and to try and ignore all this crap and hopefully dsd will just realise she’ll have to move in with us because we won’t be able to keep paying this money out. Dh is very much a friend to Dsd rather than a proper parent and is scared to upset her in anyway and I honestly think he’d just keep paying rent to her bfs mum.
We have told dsd her mum shouldn’t have lied on the forms as it’s benefit fraud and dsd said everyone does it.