Q to Immigrants about what are British Values

[lljkk]

I wanted to ask other people who grew up outside UK with not British parents but have now lived in UK at least 3 years : What do you think British values are?

My answers all pick up on positives and negatives:

Expectation of fairness for some things not everything
Positives(?): most manifest in obsession with Queuing, outrage about inequitable tax affairs, grumbles about postcode lotteries in NHS, etc.
Negative: Culture of Envy, having to Q up for ages to ask a question with a 3 second answer(!)

Not being direct in communications:
Positives: Trying to be considerate of other people's perspectives
Negative: Thinking that long explanations are useful. Nurturing unspoken resentments and assuming you know what people were thinking but they never said, mind game played on one's self

Self deprecation, especially with humour:
Positive: not too proud for one's boots, wickedly funny, lack of arrogance, facilitates positive change to acknowledge problems bluntly
Negative: talking gloomily about UK status or future, pessimism

Having "Standards"
Positive: Be your best self
Negative: People who fail are condemned and (unfairly?) shamed, snobbiness

Hot drinks:
Positive: basis of hospitality and socialising
Can't think of negatives, cool

Alcohol:
Positive: as social lubricant
Negative: binge drinking (going out of fashion?), trashing public places, anti-social public behaviour

Peaceful transfer of power: can't think of any negatives on that one, either.

It’s weird you ask this because over the past few days (since Charlie Kirk), all I have been thinking about really is trying to process my thoughts on values and morals.

I am not an immigrant so I won’t answer. But I do think it’s a difficult question. We often don’t know our values unless they are challenged. It’s so bizarre. Just this silent, ever present thing instilled at the youngest of ages. Always there but never acknowledged, and also probably the most defining and unifying aspect of self, family unit, and society as a whole.

It has been messing with my mind a bit.

Individualism, as in, only thinking about yourself rather than the community as a whole. Almost a pride in being a lone wolf society.

I am a recent immigrant. What I gather is British people would like me to be secular, integrate, mingle with everyone not just people not from my own country, not bring my religion into the workplace, be considerate in public spaces and appreciate dry British humour. And, of course, pay taxes!

The problem is that all this may not be enough, given I look different and my accent.

I have lived in Britain for over 20 years, and my home country for around the same..

British values to me:
Being satisfied with small things. This is a lovely trait. British people are genuinely satisfied with 'less' than what my home country would be. I think it's great
Low expectations - this is probably linked to the above
Neighbourly and welcoming - this has been my experience but I don't think British people see themselves that way. You are! You are very welcoming, on the whole.
Humour. Sometimes sarcasm which isn't always nice
Tea
Alcohol. It's a big part of British life and culture and again, it isn't always nice
Rain
Appearing reserved, but not really
Proud of being British - again (up until recently anyway) mainly in an understated way which didn't need much shouting about, and was really nice. I hope that pride in art, music, literature and sport goes back to being the dominant expression of British pride, and not the flag thing
Self deprecating

I'm sorry that's your experience. They aren't all like that! My experience has been really different to yours, but I emigrated here 22 years ago.

If I ignored the news and just judged on my daily interactions over the last 2 decades I would say British people are kind, funny, shy until you know them, curious and generally tolerant.

I hope you get to experience those sides of British life too.

I may not have expressed myself well. I think British people are-mostly- all the things you say. Welcoming, tolerant, liberal. I love it here.
However, current news events sometimes terrify me.

I don't think that's entirely true - I think we are intensely private, and that can be viewed as individualistic - but it's actually that you're expected to hold up your end without making a show of it.

Tolerance, politeness, charity (i couldn't believe how many organisations in UK are funded largely by public donations), standing up for what is right

Those aren't values OP. Habits and behaviours or culture rather. I would say values are democracy, free speech, tolerance, equality of opportunity (now- not in the past!), freedom of religion/none, justice, anti-slavery. Sure we are failing at many of those.

Freedom of speech, open and encouraged dissenting voices, changing one’s mind about people and events and civility even when arguing different points. Intelligence and discernment.

We have free speech as long as it's left wing. If you express right wing views you are labelled fascist,
So, no I don't think we are tolerant

Who has called you a fascist @yellowspanner ? And what was their response when you challenged them on it?

I forgot freedom of speech, religion and discussion.

I have expressed myself really badly.
I suppose what I mean is, public views on immigration have changed in the last five years. People expect more of us recent immigrants. Not unreasonably so. I see it on MN and in real life.

British Values?

Selfishness
Jingoism
Superiority complex
Laziness

As a Londoner and as someone who moved to the UK from an EU country 33 years ago I think the values you describing are a bit of a cliche and parochial and are very much centered around the idea that being British means being white...

As a londoner I have seen diversity being embraced by most people, people showing an interest in food/restaurants from all over the world and in general a lot of creativity in the arts and fashion sectors and the love of free speech.

It is not all about a love of queuing and drinking cups of tea...

I think the majority are tolerant ( as long as others don't abuse their good will), Liberal and welcoming.

I think the country's right wing media is poisonous though.

Freedom of speech, not freedom of consequences. You're free to say hateful things, and as a consequence you'll be called fascist. That's still freedom of speech - You're not imprisoned for speaking your mind.