Let's make a bumper thread of baby tips! What's the number one thing you wished you'd known before you had your baby?

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I had some brilliant advice from MNetters on a range of topics with DS1 but I wish I'd asked for help earlier.

I'm now due with DC2 and wondered if (selfishly) we could put together our best, gold-standard tips please. I want to be prepared af this time!

My top two are:

1. (From MN after id spent about six months trying to make DS keep his socks on) - just put them in tights! Ridiculously simple. Life-changing. Nice toasty feet for the bebe.

2. (From a nurse when DS was in NICU) - if formula feeding, get water to the right temperature ahead of bedtime and put it in a thermos flask next to your bed. Set your powder out in the correct measurements for night feeds, along with your clean bottles. You can have everything by your bed to sort out instantly when the baby needs a night feed. Btw, I didn't formula feed by choice, it was necessary because DS had a lot of operations when he was first born and breast feeding wasn't an option. Hopefully, I'll breast feed this time.

What would you all suggest? What's the one thing that changed everything?

Do you mean before you birthed the baby or before you conceived? If it's the latter then the ONE thing I wished I'd known was the difference between a "relaxed and easy going but supportive" partner and a "lazy, selfish, couldn't give a toss" partner. I didn't know until I was trapped.

@INeedAnotherName oh gosh, I'm sorry to hear that. Did you LTB in the end? I hope so, useless men don't deserve partners. And there are a lot of useless men around.

That the only way little one will sleep is by having constant contact with me..... took me six weeks with the youngest before he would settle in the cot. His brother....six weeks before he slept through. Only thing that helped was having a radio on all night (classic FM helped)

That buying ridiculously expensive clothes because they were so cute was an utter waste of money.
Ditto brand new toys!

Most of what you worry about when they’re small doesn’t really matter.

Unless there are SN of some description they’re not going to be having a bedtime bottle or BF at 18, or sucking a dummy when they’re 21. Or any one of 100 things I worried about.

Buy at least two sets of mattress protectors for both cots and your bed. So if (when) there is an accident, you can put a new mattress protector on straight away.

Don't have a baby. !!!!!!

I wouldn’t recommend making bottles the way you describe, babies have died from the water not being hot enough to kill things in the powder.

That parenting books are all well and good but the babies can’t and haven’t read them 😂

Yes I agree with this. We did use a Tommee tippee prep machine but always made sure the hot water as hot enough. Please much sure formula is made with boiling water following the NHS methods ot prep machine followed properly.

I cringe so much when I see formula being made with cold or lukewarm water and either warmed up or something similar.

Be well stocked on your comfort quick dinner - pesto pasta, jar sauce, instant noodles or whatever.

You still need to eat even on the days where the baby has been 100% pain in the bum!

@Straightomyhead @RigbyRight ah okay - I would've thought her being a NICU nurse made her a bit of an expert so trusted her. Luckily, we were fine. 😬

That some newborns will only sleep with 24/7 physical contact, ie, on your chest, and that is very natural and okay! I was obsessing over trying to get my DS to sleep in his cot when he was so uncomfortable with reflux that lying on his back wasn't possible. When we started taking shifts, ie staying awake half the night with him on our chests and then swapping so the other could get some rest- it all improved until he grew out of it and started cot sleeping at 6 weeks old.

Also - that not much of what you do in the early days really changes the personality of your baby. My two were born less than 2 years apart. We did everything the same. My first was a temperamental, fussy, screaming, orchid baby and my 2nd slept through the night from day dot and is generally a very chilled out girl. 2 years later and they're still the same!

That water sprays are amazing when you’re in labour, and that changing stations are invaluable for your back!!!

The water has to be at least 70% to kill the bacteria in the the powder then has to be cooled down to feed.

Sometimes a baby needs to suck. Your clean little finger will be just as comforting as your nipple, and (a) is much easier on you (b) won't give the baby wind

Plan something to do every single day on maternity leave.

Whether it’s lunch out or a simple walk with the pram or visiting a friend, make sure you have something to look forward to. The loneliness and the cabin fever can be absolutely crippling

cots are useless; double / queen mattress on the floor (best raised on a low base for air flow). Never have to go through the hell of transitioning out of cot as a colleague is experiencing. Can sleep with them if needed after the age of 1.

when tiny I’d use a consleeper though

I don’t know who told you number 2 but this is dangeorus. Cool water can’t kill bacteria in formula and it’s a huge risk to a little baby’s gut.

Readers: do not do this! This NICU nurse should be given a bollocking for dispensing this advice

very handy if they get a sickness bug or wet bad when older. Quick strip and everyone back to sleep.

I'd go one step further - make the bed up with mattress protector, sheet, mattress protector and sheet so that if it needs changed at daft oclock you're just stripping off and not having to remake.

Don't have a child with a child.

You can't spoil a baby. Babies are designed to crave closeness and comfort and want to be held.

Babies are people and born with their own personality.

That babies are both hard work and bloody boring!

Learn to feed lying down

Take lots of photos. Make sure you have some
of you and the baby.

Never let the day start at 5am. Feed back to sleep, keep the room dark and lots of cuddles.

That you can do a mixture of things, it isn’t either/or: combi-feed rather than EBF or EFF. Do some cloth nappies and some disposable. Use both a pram and a sling. At weaning do some finger food and some purées.

Getting them into a good routine early on makes a big difference to how much happier everyone feels.

The difference between them being upset/howling, and them having a bit of a grumble because you’ve fed them/changed them, then put them down to go in the shower.

Find lots of low cost toddler groups to get yourself out of the house every day.