Help - DD scared to play with boys

[Phunny]

My DD6 is (like most people) sometimes confident, sometimes not, depending on the situation. Her friendship group is almost entirely girls and she is not at all confident playing with boys.

She has just gone up a year at rugby and now the class is all boys, and she no longer wants to go.

i am working hard to get some of her friends to join, as well as be there closely supporting her and encouraging her. I know the general feeling is: don’t force your kids to do an after school activity. But, I don’t want her feeling like she can’t be in a “boy’s space”. She otherwise likes to play. These are lovely boys by the way, I don’t think there is anything in their behaviour causing a problem.

I’d really welcome advice, do we just give it up and try to integrate somewhere else? She does go to a mixed school.

Thank you

You haven't mentioned what you have done to find out why? Id be worrying that she's had a bad experience at some point.

This is why mixed sports, even at a young age, aren’t always a good idea.

Was she playing with girls before? Have they all left the class?

I had the opposite.

my DS did ballet.

he hit a point where he just wasn’t comfortable in an all girls environment.

Has she said she is scared of boys? If there is a reason, I would do everything I could to
address that. If not, just stop going or find another group/activity. I don’t think you should be working hard to get her friends to go. I’d maybe invite a boy over for a play but other than that let her be, she’s six, life shouldn’t be hard at six.

Find another all girls rugby for her outside school.

Just find her a girls rugby team to play on.

Teach her to trust her instincts. If this feels off to her then support her. Don't tell her that her feelings are wrong. If the boys space doesn't feel right then they need to work on that but your daughter isn't the test case.

Is there a girls only club she could join instead?
Probably wouldn’t be forcing her if she’s nervous because she does have a point - I know there’s not much physical difference between girls and boys at that age but boys are usually more boisterous and may be rougher then girls.

Find her a girl's rugby team. I think it okay for her to not want to be the only girl on an all boys rugby team. You'd feel a bit like the odd one out, especially at her age. Even as an adult I wouldn't want to be the only female in an all male environment.

Thanks very much everyone, I appreciate the advice.

We live rurally unfortunately so there isn’t a girls rugby club within reach. But, if I could get enough interest maybe it’s something I could try to set up in the future. I won’t push it, but I’ll see how she gets on.

i have tried to speak to her about if there’s a reason she doesn’t like playing with the boys but she hasn’t said there is, I will keep an eye on that generally.

Thanks again