My 7 year old told me he wanted to die

[cadburyegg]

everything was fine. He was playing Minecraft with his brother. I went to the loo and came out to them arguing. Both went upstairs to their bedrooms. I followed them up and talked to them both. 7yo said he wanted to die. We talked and had cuddles and he made up with his brother. 7yo said he didn’t mean it. He seems fine now but I feel so upset still and don’t know what to do.

This is heart breaking but I wouldn’t worry too much about about this if he is generally happy with no other signs of poor mental health. At 7 they don’t really understand death, but know that death means you aren’t here so aren’t facing issues/ difficulties etc. i would keen an eye but work on helping him to develop skills to articulate how he feels and maybe in a child friendly way helping him to understand death.

At 7, your son doesn't really understand what dying actually means. They don't have much concept if any, of the word. It's just a word. Children also say over-dramatic things when they're angry, frustrated or upset. Of course he didn't mean it, he was cross because he'd argued with his brother, and just said it. Unless, there's some other underlying concern in his behaviour etc, then I wouldn't fret over it. My son is 14, and will say 'I'd rather kill myself' over something ridiculously trivial, it's usually dramatic and over-the-top! I tell him he'd make a good actor! My son has no intention of killing himself, he's not depressed or suicidal. It's words, used for dramatic effect. However, I do pull him up on using phrases like it, because someone else may misunderstand completely.

I echo what the others have said, also he'd been playing Minecraft where there are several ways that your character can die but then essentially respawn.

Die in Minecraft? Separate reality from games.

If he’s only 7 and it’s come after playing a video game then he surely means it in that sense. Respawn (as they call it in Minecraft) and get a do-over, not actually die die. I would gently caution him over his use of language but if this is all there is to it then I wouldn’t be otherwise concerned.

Tell him not to worry, that everyone must die

this is so bizarre but my 7 years old being very upset told me the same thing this evening. He has AdHD and is Autistic. Because of a fight with his brother and me not allowing him to play on his computer as it was bed time, he had a big meltdown and told me I want to die, i will stB myself (which has shocked me).
Their understanding of death is limited but still it’s not nice to hear a child say such things

Its not nice at all. Ive had this from my son ASD its an extreme, kids dont have the ability to really explain how they feel so they use extremes, I hate you, I want to die, im the worst. Gently talk and give them other phrases to use. Dont feel like a bad parent.

I disagree that he doesn't know the gravity of what he's saying because he's only 7. I distinctly remember being 8 years old and feeling so unhappy I didn't think I'd survive until my 9th birthday (no childhood trauma or anything, just my mental health is in the shitter and always has been).

Listen to your son. Take him seriously. He's having feelings bigger than the thing that caused them and that can be really overwhelming. I'm sure he doesn't actually want to die but clearly he's capable of hitting a really dark place and he needs to know he can tell you any time he feels that way and know that you'll hear him.

Jesus fucking Christ.