2.5 or 3 years age gap between kids?

[CreativeNest]

I have a 20 month old. I was trying to plan out what a good age gap would be between my first and second. Is there a big difference between a 2.5 and 3 year age gap? The way I see it is I will be weaning my first by 24 months and hopefully would want to move her into her own room before the newborn arrives. When it comes to potty training I'm unsure if it's better to do it before the baby arrives or after as I heard they can regress. What was your potty training experience when you were about to/had a newborn?
At the age of three my first born will start nursery but is that a plus because I need to drop off and pick up my first born while trying to establish breastfeeding with the baby. Will there be more of a difference in my first in terms of independence and understanding if I aim for three year age gap rather than 2.5. Are there any other pros and cons I'm missing? Let me know what seems more ideal to you.

So my son was three and a half when his sister was born (not planned that way, we had three miscarriages between them) but the gap has worked really well for us. He potted trained at two and four months so was very capable of taking himself to the toilet and he could also dress himself and entertain himself which was a big deal when my husband and I were sleep deprived with a newborn.

Had mine 3 yrs 3 months apart and it's been amazing. Eldest started pre school nursery at just over three so that I didn't feel any guilt over splitting the time when baby was newborn, it got us out for a walk twice daily which helps massively with mental health post baby & then he started school when youngest became a active toddler and into everything. Hope this helps. ☺️ good luck!

It doesn't really make any difference, pros and cons to both.

Try when you're ready and what will be will be.

You are overthinking it.

And it might take you six months to get pregnant.

So if between 2.5-3y feels like a good kind of range, I’d just get on with it.

Ours are two years exactly, it worked well. You can only plan so much, I’d let nature take its course. We just stopped trying so we didn’t have a July/Aug child who would be really young at school.

In the nicest possible way you can’t plan it or time it like that. It might take you a while to conceive. You might have a miscarriage. You might have twins. Your DD might be ready to potty train at 2, or 3, or 3.5. So many uncontrollable - if you feel like you’ve reached the point where you could handle the minimum age gap then I’d crack on.

In my experience and what I’ve witnessed in friends, closer age gaps are harder work in the early days but mean it’s easier when you’re out of the baby stage. I have a 2.5 gap and sometimes wish it was a smidge smaller as the 2 year old struggles to keep up with what my eldest wants to do. Saying that, the first 18m were HARD.
try for 2.5, and if it takes longer you won’t be kicking yourself for waiting

I’d say 3 years. The extra 7 months makes a huge difference. 2.5 they’re still quite young. Trust me you’ll thank me for it!

Yep and a lot also depends on your age and how quickly you conceived last time etc.

They come when they come.

As PP have said, I think you’re trying to be too exacting! You can’t plan an exact conception to fit in with a scheduled date for potty training and weaning, with the best will in the world. Maybe start trying and hope that the age gap falls somewhere within your range.

FWIW, I think there will be pros and cons to any age gap and you will find that whatever you get works for you as it’s all you know. Mine are 24m apart and then 22m apart and it’s great for us.

Honestly speaking an 3 plus year age gap is soo much easier. I have a 3 year 9 months one which is amazing the 2.5 month one I regret…each kid needed their proper time and this one was too short…all my friends recommended it but it was all lies 😂 be kind to yourself and choose an easy life…

You can’t plan pregnancy to that extent

Isn't your child in their own room yet?

We tried for 2.5 gap but it didn’t happen til 3 year gap for us. Try as soon as you’re ready is my advice. It might take longer

3 is when they become useful, understand more, have friendships. I always thought it would be a lovely gap.

Potty train now so thats not an issue

I’d just crack on at the point which gives you the minimum age gap you’d find acceptable. That’s all you can do. We had 2 MCs in between our two so it’s a bigger gap than we’d first anticipated.

I think everyone will experience it differently depending on their children. Mine have a 2.5 gap. Baby/toddler stage was exhausting toddler was quite jealous. But once they were toddler/preschool they were great friends and have enjoyed playing together all through primary although obviously they do fall out. Oh my pro was I could stay at home for a few years and go back to work quicker. Youngest was summer born but obviously depends on time of year to how that works.

3yrs 3 months here has been great. But was not planned as such, I’d wanted a much smaller gap but it took a lot longer..
But my oldest was well potty trained by then and you could have proper chats with them and it has always worked well.