Completely thrown by clients comment..

[Dontlletmedownbruce]

I work PT on a short shift for a few years now in a client facing job, where a positive demeanor is part of the deal. I agreed to increase my hours so still PT but I've doubled my hours, starting a few weeks ago. My manager and mentor/partner left around the same time and they are recruiting new management, but i have been running things temporarily for the past 3 weeks. I've been working hard, managing everything alone with the help of junior staff who I'm training in. There's a load of paperwork I've never done before and I'm figuring it out as I go. I admit it's been intense but it's also going very well in that we haven't had any issues and i was only thinking this week how smooth it's all been, relatively. I even wondered if I could be manager if recruitment is proving difficult. Truthfully I was feeling really proud of myself.

I talked to my ex manager yesterday, who recently chatted with a client (they are friends). The client asked if I was OK, she said I seemed like I'm a bit lost without my former partner and maybe not coping so well. Apparently it was said with concern, and I have no idea why ex manager repeated it to me.

I am completely floored by this. I feel like I've made a massive fool of myself thinking i could do this. I am not very confident in terms of work and I got this job a few years ago after retraining in my late 30s, I started at 40 and felt for the first time I'm doing what I am good at, and found my purpose. I'm suddenly doubting everything.

Sorry I don't know what I want from this post really. Maybe just some perspective and some advice on how to play this with the client going forward. I'll be seeing her again in a few days. Or maybe others have had similar experiences. How on earth do you pick yourself up and hold your head high when people think you aren't good enough?

First off you have absolutely not made a fool of yourself. Don't think that for a minute.

It seems odd that your manager would have repeated this comment and then not followed it up in any way, no wonder you are confused.

Do you have any idea when this comment was made? I tight have been referring to a time several months ago. I think you need to ask your manager for clarification. Are they happy with your work? Do they think you need more support? I don't think you should be afraid to ask them, it would be much better than worrying and stewing over bit.

I would be wondering if the supposed comment by the client, to your ex-Manager was fabricated. Why would your ex-Manager feel the need to tell you this? It sounds to me, if you have been doing a sterling job, the client told your ex-Manager, and they were jealous of the fact you've done such a good job, and wanted to 'rain on your parade'. Perhaps they are concerned you are doing a better job of the role, than they did?!! Of course the ex-Manager could be telling the truth, but considering you think you've been doing a fab job, I can't see why a client would think you are 'in above your neck' and unable to cope! It seems odd to be so wrong!

Thanks for the advice. That's what I don't get @Sassylovesbooks if I think things are going well how could I be so wrong, it's made me question my whole judgement and ability. The more I think about it the manager could have been bigging herself up a bit, I don't think she fabricated it but could have exaggerated. She was a great mentor but had a big ego too, and this has been her gig for years.

@TonTonMacoute the comment was made this week, I was talking to the client Monday. Maybe I was more brusque than usual because I had other things to do and she read between the lines. You are right I need to ask the manager what she really thinks. She was the one who nominated me to take over as she moved up the ladder so she obviously has faith but maybe she has reservations too and jumped on a throwaway comment.

The irony is i can't argue they are wrong to say i can't cope, when I've spent the afternoon in tears over this!. I need to wait until I'm feeling strong and confident before I talk to anyone in person about this.

Ask yourself why this person felt the need to tell you that. It was completely uncalled-for and unnecessary.

I strongly suspect that your ex-manager has deliberately told you this to wrong-foot you and make you feel inadequate. They don't like the feeling that you can manage without them.

And they wouldn't want you to get above your station and start thinking you can manage without them, either.

Deep breath, shoulders back, head up. You can and are doing it. Ex manager has issues.

Yeah i think there's some politics there

You're obviously coping well and you've put some noses out of joint tbh

There was no need to tell you, even if it was true. And I don't think your self assessment is going to be that far off.

This isn’t about you. It’s some weird shit between the client and the ex manager.

Could be the client is trying to get her to return as they are pals.
Or to make the ex manager feel invaluable “oh the staff can cope without you as youre fantastic i was worried about them”
or some other shite (her daughters dog walkers granny’s pal is out if a job and looking for one…”

Youre doing fine. Dont doubt yourself because of that arse. The ex manager should have left detailed notes on how to do everything (we had that) so the lack of guidance is her fault.

They should be glad and grateful to have you. You just keep doing what you are doing.
When you see that client just be all smiles and happy. If she says anything I’d be careful how you reply and just make out that everything’s great, Ive got the hang of the majority of it all now and am really enjoying it.

I think you’re overthinking this. Ten to one the client just noticed you were "figuring things out as you went along" and rather more serious than usual. Maybe you even said something to them to that effect, for instance "I’ll have to think about that issue because it’s the first time I’ve had to deal with it", or something like that. They didn’t say you were doing a bad job.

Your ex-manager is trying to score points off you because they want to feel they were indispensable. Don’t buy into it!

Surprised folks saying why did the manager tell you. As a manager I’d one hundred percent tell you client feedback, and try to get to the bottom of what was behind it and how you were coping.

I’d also think why did the client feel this way. Can you think through the interaction and what was said?

I Reckon they noticed your unusual for you brusqueness and genuinely wanted to make sure you were ok