Watching the One Show. It seems that there's a series coming on where people can change their pasts. Got DH & me talking about if we would change anything, if so what.
So, on reflection I wouldn't change anything.
There are things that I regret:
Our 4th child was stillborn, but, although I still mourn him & I still suffer from bouts of depression, I used to SH because I used to blame myself, also my depression stopped me feeling anything & the physical pain of SH reassured me that I was able to feel something. I have the scars on my body (including my forearms), but don't hide them because they are part of me & my journey.
However, I feel that the experience has made me a better more sympathetic person. I'm better able to listen, I have more patience with people's foibles. I feel that I am generally a nicer, more patient person as a result.
Then I had a very serious car accident where my heart stopped in the ambulance & has left me with life-changing injuries - not to mention the scars that totally trump my SH scars & can't be hidden-I have a several scars on my face as, despite my safety belt, the glass from windscreen peppered my face & the dashboard broke my cheek bone leaving a large scar down my face. There are other major scars on my body as well. As my GS once said I look like I've survived the 'death of a thousand cuts'
Again, this made me realise how precious life is, gave me a better understanding of how people with disabilities often struggle to live on a daily basis. It also stopped me SH as I finally realised that I wasn't to blame for our DS dying, it just one of those sad things that happened & helped me to focus on the children that I had.
DH's regrets are that he spent too much time on his businesses & playing rugby & left me to do the bulk of childrearing. He regrets that he missed out on many things because he just wasn't there. He also regrets that he left the bulk of the burden of childrearing, maintaining the house etc to me.
As they say when you were at school: discuss..
Edited to say that I've reported my post to MN because I wasn't able to add a TW to the title & have asked them to do this for me.