Funeral costs

[Dapplesun]

Could people please tell me the approx total cost for funeral they’ve paid in SE england? Including everything like flowers, cars, plots…etc…Ive never done this before and it’s all quite a lot. Trying to work out if it’s really just more realistic to do a ‘direct cremation’ due to time and costs as working full time and trying to make all arrangements is probably going to be incredibly difficult. Google is giving approx figures but I don’t quite trust it…Thankyou

I am not in that area, but I'm sure it's not that much different.

We had a cremation, ordered some flowers, no cars etc and the cost was £5,000. The world is literally your oyster, they charge for SO many other things that we chose not to have.

Have a look here for some accurate costs - we used the Co-op and they were great. They also do packages. https://www.coop.co.uk/funeralcare/funeral-services

Thankyou. I will have a look. Yes the list when I started to add it all up did seem endless and scary!

It's impossible to put a number on I'm afraid. It's like asking how much is a wedding, just too many variables?

What is your budget like? People might be able to advise you on the best options to suit you if they have this information.

Sorry for your loss

Phew, £5k for a funeral !!!!

Just pop me a black sack and throw me in the wheelie bin.

I found a local independent was much cheaper than the Co-Op. I emailed about 4 or 5 for quotes for what I required and there was a big difference between the major chains and the still independent and flexible local firms.

You can always do direct cremation and then scatter ashes with family or friends at a time that better suits you.

It’s difficult as there are multiple people involved, I wasn’t close to the person so am not willing to break into my savings quite frankly. So in all honesty I’m looking to spend as little as possible. Others wish to do a grander affair…I agree now it is a bit of a silly question! Not thinking too straight as been quite stressful. Thankyou. I’ll make my own budget and offer that up. Anything else they want they can cover if they choose.

If the deceased had any money the funeral costs come out of their estate. We paid £7k for a pretty average traditional funeral for mum a few years back, which she would have been horrified about. Direct cremation and a decent party/wake is what I’ve specified.

Sorry for your loss, Op.
If you are ‘not close’ to the deceased, then why do you appear to be having to pay for the funeral?
If the deceased has left any money, the funeral should be charged to his/her estate. If they were destitute, then a ‘Public Health’ funeral can be paid for by the local authorities in the area they lived. This is a basic funeral, now often a direct cremation, the relatives having little or no say in the arrangements, though this varies from area to area.
However, if you approach a funeral director and arrange a funeral, you may find yourself responsible for ensuring payments, so be careful how you approach this and don’t go beyond what you can reasonably afford, either in time, money or emotion iyswim.
On .gov.uk website there is a very useful ‘document’ you can access:
https://www.gov.uk/when-someone-dies

I've just paid £3380. This was Manchester, a Co-Op affiliated family firm. The deceased had specifically asked for this firm so I didn't feel able to shop around. It was 50% up front, balance within 21 days of the funeral.

That included collection and care of the body, embalming and viewing if we'd wanted it, basic coffin, burial shroud, cremation, a celebrant and recorded music for the service, and (unattended) scattering of the ashes. We went in our own car and stopped at Aldi on the way for flowers. Printed our own service booklets.

We had a small reception in a side area at a nearby pub and just picked up the tab at the end.

I could easily have spent double that - and the estate certainly had the funds - but could just imagine the relative spinning in their grave! It worked really well for us, any more would have just been money down the drain.

My mum's funeral in the South East last year came in at about £6000 for the celebrant service and crematorium, coffin, hearse and a car from house to crem, orders of service and one very large spray of flowers for the coffin. That doesn't include the gathering after, but we had that at mum's house, and just ordered in food from Waitrose, so that part was very reasonably done.

Just give a few funeral directors a ring.
I visited 4 in my city. It was a huge learning curve.

At the time I also rang the crematorium who told me I could be taken to the crem’ in a box in the back of an estate car and for £900 I would be cremated. No funeral etc.
Funerals are a rip off.

Funeral costs should be paid out of the deceased persons estate.

It’s not a loss to me, more a relief. It’s complicated unfortunately, but I can’t get out of paying in this situation, as much as I’d love to just walk away.
Deceased had no money, only debt.
Thankyou, I’m trying not to, and treading very carefully.

OP, this sounds complicated and I feel for you having been put in this situation, but if others want the grander affair let them pay for it. If they can't and expect you to, then you're calling the shots.

We paid about £6.5k in the SE a year ago for a fairly typical cremation with 2 cars and a lovely wake.

So much of the costs vary depending on what you want, flowers can be a £15 bouquet from Waitrose to £1000+ customised arrangements, cars - how many, we had none they aren’t compulsory. Church plots are £198 for ashes but you need to have a church with space, it’s £98 for permission to add a plaque but what they cost to make depends on the monumental mason. A church funeral is approximately £450 (varies by church a little). I’m not as up to date on funeral directors’ charges as I’m the Church end of the funeral. We charge £50 to rent our hall and people can self cater or hire in caterers

In your circumstances a direct funeral and renting a room in a pub where you can lay on a basic buffet and people pay for their own drinks seems sensible and proportional - have a short informal “service” at the beginning (this is quite common) eg one person welcomes everyone, play a music of music, short eulogy a poem thank everyone for coming final music. Have a picture of the deceased on an easel

It’s very variable and there are set fees for things like a direct cremation which are helpful to look at.

7 years ago it cost £6k all in to bury and acknowledge my husband - burial costs, coffin, flowers, pallbearers, announcements, cars, hire of the wake venue, food and drink, celebrant. But that was an actual burial, plus a big wake, though the catering was inexpensive as my friends did it all for us and the estate only paid for the cost of ingredients. I don’t have a single regret, it was very important to me to do the things we did. So I guess I would just say, do what is important to you/what the estate can bear, and don’t be pushed into paying for things that are meaningless to you/others.

Someone's relative has died. Even if it isn't their loss, maybe save this sort of comment is better on a different thread?

Do what you think is appropriate - but I would be concerned that you obviously have no real emotional connection to the deceased so are you the best person to arrange their funeral?

Have you applied for a funeral grant from the council if they had no money.

We organised a funeral recently that was no hearse, no family cars, coffin, no flowers, short service and burial (plot already owned) and it was 4.5k

Sorry for your loss

I'm in the funeral industry but not a funeral director (anymore).

I would say honestly think about what you can afford but also please keep in mind that funerals and a ceremony around death is important to humans and part of the grieving process.

We have been doing ceremonies around death since we were in caves and it really concerns me that some people are forgetting that with direct cremation.

Direct cremation often means the deceased is collected for their body to be stored, miles away, then cremated at an unknown location and unknown time and then the ashes are shipped back to you.
No ceremony no even knowing where you loved one is or where they will be taken to.

Obviously some independents do a slightly different low cost cremation but this is what you get with the bigger companies.

All FDs should display their prices.

Pure cremation offer a service where they can return the ashes to whoever would like them or arrangevto have them delivered to a place of choice.

Direct cremation last year was £1,200. Friends full on funeral this year was £9k.

condol and unmumsnetty hug.