Godchild gifts etiquette

[minecraftmind]

TLDR: how do I go about stopping gifts for my goddaughter after she’s 18. Do I just stop and say nothing?

Longer version: I have a Goddaughter who is turning 18 in November. I rarely see her, perhaps once a year as she lives with her Mum around 3 hours from me. When I was asked to become her godmother I was younger and not as assertive as I would be now, too much of a people pleaser, and I accepted out of politeness, despite not really being very close to the child’s parents and not being a believer. (The Mum and I used to work together but she seemed to think we were better friends than I did, and then I moved away when the child was 2). I regret taking it on but I was very timid.

I have bought thoughtful gifts every year for both birthdays and Christmas and have always tried to make an effort with those, choosing things I hope she’ll like. Only in the last 2 years have I resorted to gift vouchers as even her mum is not sure what she’s into. It’s her 18th in November so I’m imagining I just get a larger voucher?

Also given that Christmas follows on so soon after would it be ok to stop presents after the birthday in November? If do, what is the etiquette for stopping? Do I alert her to my intention or just allow the silence to do the talking?

I would just stop!

Is the intention you just never have any contact again after her 18th birthday?

Then just stop. I don’t think you need to say anything.

Odd situation - well done I suppose for keeping it up so long.

Do you want ongoing contact? If so a little note saying you'll be there for the daughter. If not ... just stop?

I think you can stop, although if you value the relationship do something for her 21st.

If the mum is your friend, I'd message the mum to say you'll be stopping the birthday gifts once she is 18, perhaps with the exception of a 21st birthday present. I'm sure the mum will pass on the message.

I’m not planning on shunning her or anything! She has my number and no doubt we will keep in touch with Christmas wishes each year etc. I will probably still see her mum once a year or so for a coffee / lunch as well. So I’m not trying to cut them off entirely. I just don’t want to keep up the present buying after her 18th which I assume is normal, and working out how to mark this.

Just don’t mention anything about gifts, they probably will not mention it either out of politeness.

It’s very normal to stop pressies at 18. If you see her you could mention it if you want. It’s impressive you’ve kept it up this long.

I hope she sent you thank you notes and cards for your birthday