6 year old behaviour

[Whatdoidohelp3]

Tantrums that are loud, public and going floppy and kicking/ hitting when trying to move her.
It’s been a theme throughout summer but as an example today we went on an afternoon trip; it was lovely. As we were leaving she asked for sweets from the shop, I said no (they were crap tbh and over priced). I’m trying to maintain not giving in to tantrums and letting her get her way with them. This resulted in a standoff in the shop with everyone looking for what seemed a very long time. In the end I lifted her out and she kicked, screamed etc. my partner (we don’t live together) went to get the car. I was struggling with her trying to get her to it. People staring, her screaming and going dead weight when I tried to move her. My partner lifted her into the car where she proceeded to kick the seat and scream most of the way home.
partner went home after dropping us off, I say partner who knows after this. It’s been happening a fair bit he may have had enough, I don’t blame him 😔
I work with children and children with difficulties; she doesn’t strike me as having any SEND but from what I’m reading she’s too old for these tantrums.
Does anyone else have children this age that do this? It’s fairly new, started a lot over the summer.

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Anyone? 😫

Has it just been over the summer or has there been a build up to it or is it continuing from before schools broke up?

Can you have a chat with school as well and see what behaviour they see?

Can you tell us more about home life? Is your partner her dad? If not, how long has he been in her life? If she tantrummed before, did you used to give in and that is what she is expecting? And how do you react when she does it - calmly or emotionally?

Not her dad no, but in her life since a year and a half they adore each other. She’s known no other dad so to her, he is.
she has two older siblings, her sister (8) does have undiagnosed adhd/ autism it’s a work in progress for diagnosis because she’s an accomplished masker.
She’s one of the happiest kids in the world or at least she was. Probably since starting infant school she’s shown more of a stubborn side, often to do with transition times or not getting what she wants.
Im generally very calm dealing with this kind of thing, I work with children as well and it’s my natural way. Although when it’s your own children it’s obviously harder. I worry I’m too close to be able to assess what’s actually going on. I don’t recognise SEND in her but I suppose there’s always the chance she’s similar to her sister but doesn’t mask. I don’t know, it’s so hard. She doesn’t have many friends at school but she’s not interested when others approach her. Only occasionally will be sad she has no one to play with.

And yes I will talk to school tomorrow

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This sounds very similar to my son. I think he has autism but not really your typical presentation.

He’s been like it since about 4. Is now 6.

We cannot go to shops with him at all. He becomes completely fixated on acquitting something, anything!! I think I’ve put it down to him getting stressed by the shopping experience so he finds something to fix his attention on. He then can’t get it out of his mind. He with have full meltdowns and to an outsider appears spoilt. When we get him to the car he will thrash about so much we can’t drive safely. Then when he snaps out of it becomes very babyish and quite withdrawn.

It sounds fairly similar so perhaps don’t dismiss neurodiversity. Especially given the family link.

Hi. I notice you said "no". Have you considered PDA?

I did consider PDA but there are lots of times all is lovely it seems to be more stubborn than anything. Stubborn and not embarrassed to be seen!
I csnt rule out ND , I’m so confused.
Thanks for replies