Is OLD my only option?

[sunnyday2025]

I am 54 and came out of a 30 year marriage 12 months ago, 2 late teen DC. Ex met someone else early on and I am feeling really lonely.

i do have friends and try to socialise as much as I can but would love to meet someone. Is OLD really as hideous as everyone makes out? Is this the only realistic avenue to meeting someone? Part of me wants to give it a go but I’m scared of meeting a psycho/scammer/sex pest! My confidence is already on the floor.

i am mid 50s and feel old and worthless, despite having regular therapy.

There was info on here recently and people reckoned sports activities have a lot of men as members. I seem to remember it was a running club ,rugby and sailing clubs had lots of men going to events. Realistically I don't think women will meet a decent man from online dating. Have you considered a pub quiz as a likely place for meeting men from memory. Other suggestions were a choir.

uurgh, I go to the gym but not sporty at all!

How about a walking group?

I met a new man when I wasn't even thinking of looking for or finding one.
In my 50s also, signed on to volunteer bring in meals to people who couldn't cook for themselves or get out much.
I was assigned a driver and got to know him and look forward to going out with him on the rounds, he was a widower, a lovely man who liked to cycle long distances, as I did, and that's how I met him.
Look for events online nearby where people are doing things that interest you, sometimes that's the best price to start.

My dsis met a lovely man OLD. Same age as you and together two years so it's not all bad

Be careful, you might wish you hadn't.

I met DP at a running club! My friend met hers volunteering at parkrun

thank you, I’m not in a rush. Think I need to work on myself a bit first.
Ex finding someone else fairly early on has just unnerved me

OLD is truly horrific. Don’t expect to meet someone well balanced and in a healthy place straight way. You’ve got to be robust and play the numbers game.
That said, I’ve been on my first date in 8 months after joining OLD this week. He was was absolutely lovely. We’ve both reflected on what didn’t work in our last relationships and he seems very well balanced and normal.
I bumped into another match in the same pub and OMFG he’s batshit crazy. He will be blocked immediately.
Only date when you’re ready for a new relationship and your ex moving on quickly is not the reason to do this. Work out what you want. Best of luck.

OLD is not a good place to be if you’re feeling worthless. I got my fingers burnt on OLD when I was feeling very low about myself . Nothing dangerous happened, the guy was simply very into me, gave me to understand we had a relationship, then went silent (although I could see he was still active on the site). But because I was already low, this affected me badly.

Around that time, by chance I went to an event at an astronomy club, which was absolutely full of nice men who were super keen to show a single woman how to use the telescopes, etc. This gave me the idea that joining things which appealed to men might help me meet men. I wasn’t in a position to do much joining because of a health issue, but I would do this again if the need arose because most of the activities I do have far more women than men.

Off the top of my head - science or computer focused club, sports, sailing, nature conservation, heritage things such as a local canal trust. I know these are stereotypes, but you are not likely to meet many men through the WI! I think things like choirs and book groups tend to be a lot more women than men?

Loads of luck and strength to you x