STI's gay female relationships

[MoustachaNatasha]

I fear I am going to sound unbelievably ignorant so I have NC.
DD is getting ready to go to Uni. She has not 'come out' but I suspect she's gay. I don't ask, I'll just be supportive when she's ready to tell me.
I heard some of my friends are equipping their young persons with contraception stuff and talking to them about STDs before seeing them off to Uni. I guess I probably don't need to worry about contraception, in any case she's on the pill due to awful periods and the GP has already spoken to her about the fact that they don't protect against infections or even 100% against pregnancy. But what about STIs between females? And is there a way to have this conversation with her when she hasn't come out to me?

it doesn’t need to be accusatory, just educational.

don’t make it a big thing. Talk about preventing STD’s and just say something along the lines of “if you’re having sex with men, condoms, if your having sex with women condoms on toys and dental dam for oral”

you never know, it might be something she needs you to mention for her to come out. Often there’s a fear of how you’ll react/feel about them coming out. So if you mention in without judgment and just in passing first she will likely feel more confident.

Surely you have had this conversation already? Why would anyone wait until their teens were leaving for university to broach the subject of STIs? The reason she hadn’t come out is possibly related to the lack of these discussions about sex.

Well I was today years old when I learned about using dental dam during oral sex……I’m not sure how that works but wow.

You can also use cut open condoms.

You don't need to mention the sex of the people she could potentially catch STIs off. Woman can pass on plenty of things to eachother. So just treat the chat as you would if she was straight.

The only difference is condoms might not be such an important topic. But she hasn't said she is fully lesbian. She might like both. So don't jump to conclusions about what sex partners she might end up with at Uni.

It’s going to totally blow your mind even more that it’s only ever mentioned in the topic of lesbian sex and isn’t taught to straight males to protect themselves as standard. 🤯

I’m not sure anyone actually does, but it comes as a recommended material. Because it’s super thin and ‘body friendly’ I’ve known this since I was a teen.. and I’m straight 😆

I was a dental nurse however so maybe that’s why it stuck 🤣

To be fair; I think it could be quite easy to not think about the fact that sharing toys can spread STD’s too. So I think it is always worth mentioning these things in a completely relative way. Better to over explain lesbian safe sec than not explain it at all, surely? 🤣

Yes, that's a good point. I guess in my day nobody spoke of sex toys at all! But yeah, for both sexes it's good advice, and especially for women who sleep with women.

Didn't take long. Judgemental answers like this are the very reason I nc.

I have literally never heard of dental dam before!

I’m only judging you on what you have said. If you genuinely haven’t spoken to your DC about these things until she is leaving for university then of course it’s likely to be the reason she hasn’t ’come out’ to you.

Yep, dental dams were around 30 years ago when I was at Uni. They gave them out free at the local clubs on lgbt nights. She'll find her way. Maybe a blanket "stay safe" msg might work?

I'm straight but lived with the Chair of the the Uni LGBT club.

To be honest FtF oral sex is very low risk - they were about during the 80’s and 90’s during the peak time before transmission of HIV was fully understood or treatment was limited - dental dams are mostly used for rimming (anal)
to be honest - they most important thing for your daughter is to be aware of what certain STI look like on female genitalia- warts etc

That may or may not be the case, but it is not the subject of my thread, is it? So if you have nothing to contribute to what I've asked, why bother?!

I did contribute. I asked ‘surely you have had this conversation already?’ I asked ‘why would you waiting until they are leaving for university?’ And I also gave a possible insight into why she hasn’t come out to you as you raised the subject of her not having done so. You chose to ignore and turn defensive. You had the option to answer the questions, which may have helped, it’s very plausible there is a reason for not discussing it previously which obviously would impact any advice on how to do it now. There was also the possibility that I read the OP wrong and you had already done these conversations. But instead you were just having a go at me for being judgmental.