School shoes that are comfortable from day 1?

[discov]

Dd just started secondary last week. She is autistic - very high masking and doesn’t like to stand out as ‘different’ against her friends (just for context!). We always have a battle with school shoes and thankfully at primary they were allowed to wear black trainers. Completely different at secondary and no trainers allowed, even if they are fully black.

We went shopping and she chose some black leather Mary Jane’s which are Geox brand. They are nice and well made but she’s been really upset because they are rubbing her feet badly. She doesn’t really get the concept of ‘breaking in’ shoes and because of her sensory issues it’s a big problem for her.

I’ve agreed to go and have a look for a different pair this weekend. I’m happy to sell on the original pair on Vinted so that’s not an issue. I am used to buying things then finding they are unsuitable for her after couple of wears, which I’m sure other parents of SEN kids will understand!

We’ve a shopping centre which has the usual Clark’s, Schuh, M&S etc. so plenty of options.

I know it’s a very personal thing but is there anything we can look at which might be comfortable from the off and not need breaking in? I am sure we will just end up with the same problem again! Is it worth going to Clark’s and get measured properly since they have different widths etc as maybe this will make a difference? She’s a size 5 so can wear adults but also still fits into most junior ranges.

my eldest said his new school shoes are the best he’s ever had, they haven’t rubbed of anything. They are kickers so a bit pricier than others but worth it if there’s no breaking in stage!

Ricosta I think, my daughter had these brogue style and were lovely and soft

I do like Kickers. Her best friend has some for this school year so that might persuade her! I am happy to spend (again 🙄) on a decent pair but so worried we’re going to come up against the same problem again, so I’m half tempted to get some cheapy ones but then they will be no good for her feet in the long run.

We've bought Next school shoes recently. Quickest and most comfortable purchase ever. Ordered lots, tried on at home, easy to return in store. Many different widths. My child is in adult sizes at primary school still with wide toes too so tricky to buy for. Very reasonable prices too.

larger size with insoles and heel grips worked for us, thankfully the school relented quickly on the polished shoes rule as they had bigger issues like actually getting kids to attend

My DS also has Kickers and says they are really comfy. The sides and tongue are very padded so no rubbing.

Mine always found Clarks comfortable from day 1. I'm sure other fitted brands like Start Rite would be the same.

Ours aren't allowed kickers etc. or Velcro most have gone with m and s or next - the next brogues haven't caused any rubbing or issues so far and seem quite soft inside

DD9 is also autistic with big sensory issues over shoes (and clothes! 😬).

We've usually had success with the same Startrite pair which they've now stopped making though this year after a failed Clarks purchase, tried bgreater shoes (a fairly newish company that offer 'barefoot' style shoes). A few grumbles, but she's wearing them. They do seem a lot softer than most alternatives.

They're quite limited in sizes, but these and a couple of others go up to a size 6... It says they're trainer style, but they don't really look it to me...

https://www.bgreatershoes.com/products/nims

Surely wearing all black trainers would count as “reasonable adjustments” for disability? (I’m not saying autism is a disability as such, butt it’s very well known that sensory issues such as your dd has are a very common part of autism)

But yes, I agree with this. My DD is not going to be able to attend secondary unless they make big clothing accommodations!

Hush Puppies - DD has these from Deichmann
https://www.deichmann.com/en-gb/p/hush-puppies-low-shoe-black-88839?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=pla_ggl_uk_en_ggmc_brand_duk-sea_shopping_brand-ns&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=22790516874&gbraid=0AAAAADybI2yR1tDXGjZCm0c8M1D7ts29U&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIjNqOtILEjwMVXaJQBh2caC_jEAQYCiABEgIvIfD_BwE

Start Rite aren’t infallible, DD is really struggling to wear in their brogues

It is technically a disability, BUT she doesn’t want to stand out and be different to everyone else. Shes already had kids asking her why she’s allowed to do X and Y and she hates it, so blending in as much as possible is what she wants unfortunately!

Thanks all, lots of options to consider here. There’s a decent Next too so will look there as we’ve had success with their trainers before.

I hear what you’re saying and totally get it. I hope you manage to find something

Shoes shouldn’t need to be broken in Tale them back as they are a poor fit.