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Colleague making work difficult

7 replies

Keeeeepdancing · 05/09/2025 01:11

Worked in my job for a year now. Everything has been OK so far but over the last month or so colleague has been getting to me.
She always has a negative outlook and makes our office unbearable at times with her mood swings. Its like walking on egg shells. She's often spoken over me when we both have been in a conversation with people. She makes it abput herself often. We both do the same role, yes she is alot more experienced than me but I've learnt quickly in a year and feel confident doing the role now.
Its almost like she cant stand that im now confident in what im doing and in some ways outperforming her.
Today was the toughest day yet. I could have honestly cried at various times in the day. It was her usual moan about how stressed she is and this created a horrible atmosphere. Tbh its also partly other managers who are getting me down too. I feel they are passing her critical info that I also need. We both do the same role so I also need to be in the loop too. Colleague moans how much work she has but refuses to share it with me.
There is one part to our job that is very stressful and time consuming. Our boss asked me to take on the majority of it last year and I did.
This year I wanted to get ahead and put procedures and plans in place to make it more efficient and effective as they were still working paper based when there was no need and I moved.it online. Boss was behind this and sent an email saying going forward all online please. I also wanted to clarify who's responsibility it was with boss but she wouldn't give a clear answer and basically said me and colleague would need to share it.
Today colleague has gone back to paper which isnt a live document obviously and hinders this certain piece of work as I have no clue what she is doing and we could end up duplicating work which would make us look stupid to outside clients. I tried to approach in a joking manner with colleague amd say nooooo we said we were doing it online remember. Colleague then gets defensive and angry and says she cant deal with computers (we need to deal with them for our job). The paper thing is exactly the same but just online. She then got in a big mood with me and wouldn't really speak to me. We did a presentation and during that made a point to say to others about not being computer literate and completely understanding if others aren't....wtf no need to say that, clear dig at me.
Now work office atmosphere is worse.
I've emailed boss asking for a chat tomorrow. Boss has not responded to it but has responded to other emails which im copied into.
I've already spoken to boss previously about my concerns. They said would discuss with colleague but never did. Boss is quite friendly with colleague more so than me. I feel boss doesnt want to rock the boat and will therefore not do much.
I feel really on my own, frustrated in my role and tbh I feel others go to colleague more than me because she shouts the loudest and has been in the role longer even though im more than capable. She's very personable to pthers and will come across to them as their best friend but will slag them off in the office. I don't know what to do tbh.

OP posts:
MyLittleSodaPop · 05/09/2025 01:36

A wise colleague once told me that when we can’t change people’s behaviour, we need to change how we deal with the behaviour, and our attitude to it as it is the only thing we have the power to change.

There are multiple issues with this person, so each one needs to broken down with new strategies:

  1. Being talked over: have a look at Motivational Speaks on Facebook. Brilliant short reel tips on how to deal with being talked over, or negativity, snide comments etc.
  2. Not being included in info: in your chat with the boss, you could stress you’re looking at time saving efficiencies in the shared role. You have noticed the new system saves time and is easily saving the company more by allowing you both to be more productive - ask is there any training Sharon can go on to boost her confidence with using the computer. I find being constructive but also phrasing it in a way that is a win for the boss sometimes is helpful.
Good luck.
Keeeeepdancing · 05/09/2025 06:56

MyLittleSodaPop · 05/09/2025 01:36

A wise colleague once told me that when we can’t change people’s behaviour, we need to change how we deal with the behaviour, and our attitude to it as it is the only thing we have the power to change.

There are multiple issues with this person, so each one needs to broken down with new strategies:

  1. Being talked over: have a look at Motivational Speaks on Facebook. Brilliant short reel tips on how to deal with being talked over, or negativity, snide comments etc.
  2. Not being included in info: in your chat with the boss, you could stress you’re looking at time saving efficiencies in the shared role. You have noticed the new system saves time and is easily saving the company more by allowing you both to be more productive - ask is there any training Sharon can go on to boost her confidence with using the computer. I find being constructive but also phrasing it in a way that is a win for the boss sometimes is helpful.
Good luck.

Thanks, I did want more training on public speaking. Also some of the things she was saying in the presentation weren't correct and obviously I don't want to make a scene and interupt. She does it in other situations too. I was trying to tell another colleague a story and she cut me off spoke so much louder and animated and I just thought you know what I cant be bothered to fight to speak. My colleague who sits next to me noticed and empathised with me.

Number 2 I have already expressed to my boss. I've already said this would be easier and quicker and she knows it too. This part of my job alot of other companies have to do too and it has to be completed in a certain time frame. One company this year made it clear they are doing it online only and would not be accepting any paper documents this year.

Tbh im dreading going in today

OP posts:
Keeeeepdancing · 05/09/2025 08:00

Anyone have any advice on how to deal with her today? I know she's going to be difficult.
I've seen her be quite mean to other staff members so worried it might go that way for me

OP posts:
Notquitethetruth · 05/09/2025 10:34

Just jumping for you @Keeeeepdancing

Keeeeepdancing · 05/09/2025 16:58

Update from today.
Manager ignored my request. We were about to have a team meeting and colleague who wasn't nice went to the toilet so had 30 secs to a min really. Boss acknowledged my email and i couldn't really say much because colleague could walk in any min! I think boss thought because she mentioned it and id said yes im concerned that was that. She then said well i want to discuss the procedures anyway so I know what's going on.
We did discuss it and I did say to colleague I understand you have a way you like to do it but we need to work off the same document so I know where you are at and we don't duplicate. She said she would put it on there but I know she wont. When the stress hits she gets sp heightened and chaotic that she wont do this. I felt she was just saying this in front of boss.
So now im stuck. Tried to raise concern with boss. She didnt really handle it. Now what........

OP posts:
KaitlynnFairchild · 05/09/2025 17:06

Keep working off the online document, if she hasn’t updated it and work gets duplicated then she will have to explain why she hasn’t updated it since the boss has said - online only.

Keeeeepdancing · 05/09/2025 17:19

KaitlynnFairchild · 05/09/2025 17:06

Keep working off the online document, if she hasn’t updated it and work gets duplicated then she will have to explain why she hasn’t updated it since the boss has said - online only.

Well in our team meeting boss actually said " I don't mind if you want to work from paper as long as you don't duplicate" to colleague!!!!!! What!!!! So boss said the email work off the sheet online but now back tracking and bending to colleague as I know she doesnt want to upset her. Even though its beneficial for everyone to work from one online live document.

OP posts:
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