Relative with OCD, finds hidden meanings

[Reallytoughsitu]

Female relative. OCD diagnosis which is fairly extreme - never left home, now middle aged. They find hidden and special meanings in a lot of things. Sometimes nice - a rainbow with a positive meaning, sometimes it stops a needed action, at other times it can be used in a malicious way. How do we handle the ‚meanings‘. DH‘s relative and he has always covered it up. PIL shielded them and they never got help. Now they are more alone we have to handle the situation more. They are not tolerant of DC limiting the amount of time we spend around then.

Have they ever tried therapy? I think they need professional help if it interferes in their every day life. Do they work?

@2dogsandabudgie They haven’t had therapy. The family adapted around them with the massive limitations that brought. It meant they didn’t really get independence, particularly in terms of living and friendship groups. They do work but with issues in a very very niche role they went into after school.

I don’t think they would accept any form of therapy. They are almost completely closed off apart from immediate family. Awful as it sounds I have got to the point I just want to protect DC from unpredictable outbursts surrounding hidden meanings (we try hard to be as inoffensive as possible regarding OCD cleanliness, not touching certain things, etc).

Your post is very unclear. What does "They are not tolerant of DC limiting the amount of time we spend around then." mean? Who is this relative to you/your DC and if she's female why are you describing her as "they"?

Sorry @TheOccupier Missing a comma. , limiting the amount of time…

Not in the UK and dual language, so they is something rough in the translation.

SIL

Got it. I think if someone isn't kind to your DC the best thing is just not to see them. Does your DH feel responsible for his sister?

Thanks @TheOccupier

It is weird. They seem to want to be close to DC, but have a real problem with them being normal children. Or any other people in general. I have had enough but I have a DH problem and he tries to deny anything is wrong and force contact. I don’t know what to do. Any risk of joint custody terrifies me as he is not stable, not pleasant and his family is a nightmare.