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Original poster

NYE - is this out of order ?

36 replies

mn1090 · 04/09/2025 15:52

We have 2 DD 18 & 15. DD 18 is ASD and rarely leaves the house. She is more than happy at home.

NYE me and DH always stay in. Every year, we get invited to our friends house for a mini house party. Every year, we don't go as DDs don't want to go and we think it's thoughtless to leave them home alone on NYE. They are fine home alone and are left on other non-event nights while we are out. We never leave our local town when we go out and can be home in 15 mins if needed.

NYE 2025 DD 18 didn't come downstairs at all. She does not care for NYE. Other DD had dinner with us, fell asleep and then woke up around 11.45pm, came downstairs for NYE fireworks on TV and then went back to her room around 12.30am. As with every NYE, me and DH sat on the sofa with a drink each and the TV.

This year, we are considering actually going to our friends house and leaving DDs at home. Both DDs are more than welcome to come and know that. I feel guilty at the thought of celebrating NYE at midnight with cheers, party atmosphere etc while DDs are home alone, in a quiet house with us not there/nothing going on. Having the party - and our friends - at ours is not an option.

AWBU to go out NYE and leave DDs at home if they don't want to come ?

OP posts:

PrettyPickle · 05/09/2025 20:44

Absolutely go, you are not leaving them heartlessly, they do not want to go and I am sure they would be happy to know you are having a well deserved night out! They may come into their own when they are older and can appreciate NYE more.

They are old enough to be on their own and its not as if you are leaving the country!

It will also be good to give them the responsibility of being at home by themselves...its part of growing up!

Cherrytree86 · 05/09/2025 22:17

@mn1090

you could always just stay home if you’re worried, OP @mn1090

Dabberlocks · 05/09/2025 22:19

mn1090 · 04/09/2025 16:01

@OldBeyondMyYears I feel that the whole world would be celebrating NYE party style .. but my DD are home, alone, in a dull and quiet house, with nothing going on.

But that is what they WANT to do.

'Celebrating NYE party style' is not my cup of tea either. I'd much rather stay at home in peace, and watch the fireworks on the telly if I feel like it.

Interested in this thread?

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18 years old Events & celebrations Families

SL2924 · 05/09/2025 22:37

Not unreasonable at all. They can come. You can see them when you get home.

Leeds2 · 05/09/2025 23:44

I don't think you would be at all unreasonable to go to your friends' party, especially if your daughters know that they could come with you if they wanted to. I would however consider what you would say/do if one wants to come with you, and one is adamant that she will stay home.

pollymere · 06/09/2025 01:22

Mine was perfectly happy to stay in whilst we went out. NYE would often see them on a laptop seeing the NYE in with friends across the world. Or them asleep.

If DD1 requires little support, then just go and have fun!

ThisMellowCat · 06/09/2025 09:56

Go and enjoy the party. I find NYE to be one of those nights where if you go out it’s not enjoyable due to crowds and if you stay in, you think the world is out enjoying themselves.
your kids have made it clear they’re happy to stay in and go to bed, go to the party and wish them happy new year by text. You won’t get through on a call and they may be asleep, and you will only fret they haven’t answered.

CaroleLandis · 06/09/2025 10:32

You sound tired and weary and your caring about your daughters is commendable.

You and your husband should be able to enjoy the evening with your fiends and have some time as a couple.

The only thing I would be cautious about is that you or your husband don’t make the mistake of drinking too much alcohol if you don’t regularly socialise in this way.

mamagogo1 · 06/09/2025 10:39

Go to your friends and enjoy. At their ages they can decide to spend time with friends, with each other or separately at home, they do not need you, perhaps treat them to a takeaway if you are eating out

lilkitten · 07/09/2025 19:28

It sounds like they're not that bothered, though perhaps the DD who came downstairs at midnight might like to join you? They're old enough to have the option. I've never been into NYE, I used to do parties because that's what you do but I'd rather just have a movie night. Last year we stayed in as the kids wanted us to, but the year before we went out with a friend.

stichguru · 07/09/2025 19:35

mn1090 · 04/09/2025 16:01

@OldBeyondMyYears I feel that the whole world would be celebrating NYE party style .. but my DD are home, alone, in a dull and quiet house, with nothing going on.

From what you say though they wouldn't be bothered! Like if your kids had ASD and were excited about celebrating NYE, but couldn't really cope with a mega loud and busy place, and you decided to go to a big party with friends and leave them alone, that would be horrid, but it really doesn't sound like they'd be bothered!

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