Just a list of shit going on in my life right now

[peppapigoinkoinkk]

— Living in a 1 bed flat while our house purchase takes forever to go through

My dad has got stage 2 cancer recently diagnosed. He is with a narcissistic gold digger and has decided to cut me and my children off because I don’t want to be around someone like that. Both myself and dh have been blocked. We was really close.

My dsd has fell out with her mum again because of arguments about college and benefits money.

My sister is a raving alcoholic and has this morning been arrested for attacking her boyfriend in front of her 15 year old.

My mum has got a new bf all of a sudden who’s got 6 kids !!!

I literally can’t cope anymore if I don’t laugh i’ll cry.

send help, seriously

He’s this does help by breaking it down into sections, thanks.

Obviously the thing worrying me the most right now is my sister and niece. My sister had to be restrained by 6 police officers 😳 it’s so sad because she isn’t well, clearly. We’ve tried to help her countless times, but she doesn’t want to stop drinking. Social services are going to be all over her now and so they should be I know, my niece has all of us so I’m not worried about care or anything but none of this is fair on her is it, she’s a child

My heart goes out to your niece.

And mine. I’ve spoke to her and she is adamant she doesn’t want to live with her mum anymore. Which will kill her mum but it’s her own fault. Niece says she just can’t cope any longer with all the shit it’s making her ill

But where will she live?

Is this poor child managing to go to school?

She wants to live with her brother. He’s a good man, stable relationship and job, but she doesn’t want to be a burden. There is my mums house, but it’s far from her friends. Her dad lives in a bedsit so that’s a no go.
We will have a spare room for her when we get our new house too. So she does have options.

School is another story, she is one of those missing kids from school, she couldn’t cope, started refusing to go, social services haven’t helped at all as they’ve both lied to them about the extent of my sisters drinking and closed the case. Niece is waiting to be assessed for adhd, been waiting 2 years already.

Is your nephew happy to have her?

Well. He hasn’t answered me… niece asked me to ask him for her as she doesn’t want to be a burden. It’s not just his decision though his partner will have to be happy with it too.

Goodness, so this request has come out of the blue or has been mentioned to him beforehand?

Taking on a 15 year old school refused on waitlist for adhd referral?

I think maybe this would have e warranted an in person get together with you, your nephew and your niece rather than a message

Yeah you’re probably right but it’s not as simple as that.
Neohew is well aware of his mums struggles but everyone chooses to brush it under the carpet rather than confront her about it because she blows up and accuses everyone of being against her. It is bloody exhausting. She cannot hold down a job because that means she can’t drink throughout the day. She cannot get on with anyone without starting on them and causing grief. She is always the victim, never takes any responsibility for her actions and the amount of questionable shit she has done their the years is a liar longer than my arm.
We’ve really tried to help my niece but before this she hadn’t wanted to leave, she’s found it easier staying with her mum who doesn’t push her to go back to school, find her suitable placement etc.
Niece is a good girl, she just stays in her bedroom bless her she wouldn’t be any trouble for anyone. It’s only now she is saying she cannot stay with her mum any longer, it’s all come out yesterday how bad her mom actually is, it’s been his from us for a long time, we’ve knows she is an alcoholic but my sister has lied and lied and pretended she’s getting help when actually she hasn’t been.

I think this may be too much for her brother and his partner to take on. She doesn’t attend school and no doubt has a host of behavioural issues herself. I think be guide by social services. A foster family that has extensive experience with teens in similar predicaments may be more appropriate and then move in with you next month. If you are prepared to take her on, because Op - this teen is very damaged. She needs help, proper professional help, and if she’s with a foster family - she is more likely to get that via social services

And are the arguments relating to college between your dsd and her mother presumably about her poor / non attendance at college?

Op, hang on in there till October, and when you got to your new home make it a completely fresh start one day at a time. Prioritise you and your wee family and let the rest of the goings on fade into the background.

The situation with your dad must be very painful - could you send him a card saying you’re sorry he’s ill and if he needs anything to please get in touch. You never know, it may just go somewhere towards slowly sorting the situation into something acceptable to you and him.

Could your neice go into temp foster care then when you’re in your new home could you and your husband play a bigger role in her life officially?

Thank you for this kind comment.
I posted for some support and at least one poster hasn’t been very nice.
Everything feels like it’s being thrown at us at the moment, and I am very much the fixer of my family, a role I never asked for, they always call me the sensible one.

My niece has been told she is always welcome in our new house, we can pick her up, her dad can drop her off, she can even get the train as we’re only a short walk away. She is close to my dsd aswell as they’re cousins by marriage, basically the same age so they lean on each other, they’ve had very similar circumstances with their mothers.
Hopefully it’ll only be another month or so!!

My sister though, she’s just beyond help. She doesn’t want help, she just wants to drink herself stupid and down her sorrows. I wish we could help her but what are we meant to do ? Drag her to rehab?

Forget your sister
Your focus needs to be her child

Maybe losing her daughter will take her to the rock bottom she needs to get well. Maybe it won’t.

You can all get help from Al Anon which is a sister fellowship to AA which is ran by and designed to help family and friends of alcoholics. There’s Alateen too for your niece

Hard to read your post, your English is bad. But I hope things do improve for you.

OP hang on in there. When you're able to spread out a bit you'll not feel so claustrophobic with everything going on on the outside on top. Feels like the walls are closing in. It'll be intolerable with autism thrown in.

Ignore the poster who seemingly were having a shit day yesterday. I hope it got better.

The ops posts are not hard to read. Maybe it's your comprehension.

Oh goodness this made me chuckle. The irony!

🤣 it gave me a much needed chuckle too ! Please forgive my typos

Thank you ♥️