Should I have let unexpected guest stay?

[DirtyPigeonss]

Where I live, all schools have Wednesday afternoons off.

Our doorbell just rang. A little girl from DD‘s class was there, holding a gift. She was here for DD‘s birthday party, which is next Wednesday!

Our front door is at the back of our house. I called her mum, who was still in her car outside our house (which I can’t see from the door). She apologised profusely and said to send her DD back to the car. Poor little girl (she’s 6) looked very confused. I told her there’s no cake today, but we‘re looking forward to seeing her at the party next week and sent her to her mum.

After she left, my older DS asked why I didn’t let her stay anyway.

He‘s expecting a friend over soon. DD hasn’t had any playdates yet except for birthday parties. She hasn’t been that interested either. I just sent away a sad little girl who was expecting a party to her mum who was expecting a few hours of peace 😂

Would you have let her stay anyway? Am I mean?

You're not mean at all! She turned up to a party a week early, you don't owe her anything.

I would have said she could stay if she wanted to play yeah.

Either way is fine I think, there’s no right or wrong in that situation.

But there’s no way I’d be having kids in my house any more than I had to.

I'd have let her stay and play

Not mean. There's no right or wrong.
Would've depended entirely on what my DD wanted.

Either / or is fine I think -
it must have been quite a surprise to see little one there ready to Party !!! 😂😂
id probably have done same as you and then thought should have said stay !

I would have asked her if she wanted to stay and play. But I can see why you mightn’t have thought of it at the time!

If I was doing anything and dc weren’t otherwise busy I’d have just asked if she could come to play anyway.
Obviously if I had plans then I’d have sent her away but my dc liked having friends round and it generally meant I had a bit of time to myself!!

You're fine. She'll have forgotten about it by next Wednesday. Mistakes happen and they're a bit young for impromptu play dates at that age (unless they already do it a lot).

You’re not mean at all, you were surprised.
however! My mum did same to me as a kid - in fancy dress. The boys mum had us all in for a cup of tea and a play for an hour. I’d do the same, but probably because I always remember this happening to me.

It doesn't matter what you or your DS (or us) think. Was your DD upset about you sending the other girl away or wasn't she bothered? If you had let the other girl stay you could possibly have forced your DD into a situation she might not have wanted. Be kind to your own child first.

If my child liked her then yes, I would have invited her in to play for a couple of hours.

This is actually why I didn’t rush to let her stay. The little girl is nice and not a bully (as far as I’m aware). But she is very confident and dominant and DD won’t say boo to a goose. DD seems a bit intimidated by her, and I‘m working on building her confidence. The girl is invited to the party because all the girls in DD‘s class are, but I wouldn’t say she’s a good friend of DD.

After DS comment I asked DD and she said she didn’t want the girl to stay because it’s not her party today.

Why the hell didn't the mother get out of the car with the child??

I mean seriously wtf.

Knock on the door, introduce yourself, say hello???

I know her quite well, it wasn’t odd at all for her to drop her DD off.

After DS comment I asked DD and she said she didn’t want the girl to stay because it’s not her party today.

That's the only answer you need and confirms you did the right thing in sending her away.

Totally fine either way. I probably would have sent her home without even thinking and only realised later maybe she might have just stayed. It would have been confusing for her though if she was expecting a party (and probably a tea too!)

Of course I would have let her stay.

Yup you’re mean and shallow to boot.

This 1000%! Wouldn't you want to walk the child in, check pick-up time etc?

Well, there’s you answer, surely? She didn’t want the girl on a solo play date.

I don't think it matters either way.

Her mum is just going to feel mildly daft; she won't hold it against you. At 6 I think it's borderline whether parents stay on playdates anyway - DD had friends whose parents didn't stay, but if I wasn't totally sure about the dynamics I'd usually combine it with coffee with the mum, just so we were both there.

It's not wrong to have sent her away, it was the mum who made the mistake and you could have had plans. Having said that, I probibly would have invited her for an impromptu playdate, especially if you already had your other child's friend.

You say your child didn't want her to stay and they aren't even really friends. So no reason to have had her in. If your kid had said she wants her to then of course. As long as you weren't busy. But they're lucky there was even anybody in?!