I have a friend, a former colleague. We worked together during an incredibly difficult period for our industry and I was the only woman in the large office. He was an absolutely godsend at the time. A supportive friend in very difficult times. I liked him because he was a solid decent family man, always talking about his wife and DC, seemed good and "safe" and we had a bit of a niche interest we shared.
There were lots of rumours about us at the time, we did have lunch and coffee together a lot, but who else was I supposed to be friends with? Nothing ever happened between us, although our friendship was probably closer than you might expect of different sex colleagues. There was a time when he knew more about me than anyone else.
20 years on, we don't work together, but still meet up a handful of times a year for the niche interest. Very occasional text messages, to share e.g. an interesting new article.
What I hadn't realised back then, was that whenever we were out at boozy things, he was (is) very touchy. I met up with him and other former colleagues last week. They'd mostly been in the pub all afternoon (the old industry had a big drink culture). I arrived later and I don't drink anymore.
After a few minutes of being pawed, I moved to the other end of the table. It was lovely to catch up with someone who'd been so important to me, and the touching wasn't really sexual, an arm round the shoulder, a pat on the back, but it was annoying, in a way I didn't notice when I was drinking. I know I too become more tactile when drinking.
I am shocked. No wonder there were rumours. When I came to say goodbye, I literally had to remove his arms from around me!